Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Touched Every Day

I've decided to focus on feeling God in my life every day. Sometimes the days are long and the people we encounter are obnoxious, and we're short on patience and tolerance. I guess that's part of being human.

Lately I've been trying to do things that focus more on feeling good spiritually. I'm finding if I'm feeling good Spiritually, then the emotions, mental and physical feeling good takes care of itself. It makes sense because the spirit is the driving force of living. Sure we have a physical heart which can be healthy and pumping blood, but that healthy heart can also be strained and hardened by bitterness, evil, pride and those types of things. It can also be softened, melted and strengthened my kindness, truth and love. All of these things effect emotions, mind and body. By having a healthy Spirit it strengthens your whole being.
I've been recalling probably the last 5 years of life. They have been some hard.. HARD days. I had to look at myself and ask.. "What have I been doing differently? What's changed?" Before I even finish formulating the question in my mind, I know darn well "what's changed." It's not so much as
what have I been doing differently, its a matter of.. "what have I stopped doing and what have I replaced it with?"

I sat for a while in silence. You ever realize how silence can be your worse enemy or your best friend? I sat a good long time in UNCOMFORTABLE silence. Sometimes it takes being uncomfortable long enough for you to get your butt in gear and take some action.
I finally jumped up and made a list of exactly "what's changed?"
Sometimes when we keep things in our minds, we can ignore them, by being busy, covering thought's up and creating justifications for doing or not doing something.
I tell ya, when you put things down on paper and come face to face with it, it changes things. It puts it out there in your face so you must see it. If you can stand to see it, be uncomfortable and NOT make needed changes, I feel sorry for you. Discomfort is the part of the Divinity in you letting you know that "sum'n just ain't right, you need to take some action and fix this thing."

If you have a real desire to do what is right, there will be an urgency inside of you that will not rest until you decide to do the right thing. And then, you will follow through with it. Real desire produces action and real results.

Here is a list of some of things that gave me peace:

Sharing temple experiences with friends:

"Let's meet in the chapel at Such & such time and then do dinner afterwards"

WOW how I miss even saying it! I miss those days and the feeling of just being able to put all the worries of the world away even if just for a couple of hours and feeling renewed and strengthened and ready to take on whatever the outside world had for me.

Good spiritual conversations: I mean real discussions and sharing of things that strengthen each other and bring you closer together at God's children. Even discussing the upcoming Sunday school, priesthood or relief society lessons. I've had really good political conversations, and every day...typical conversations. But I miss those that bring a tear to my eye or quicken my heart when I hear a friend of mine share an experience that has given them and myself a witness of something.

People who BELIEVE:
I've had some incredibly spiritual experiences. And I've had some that are really cool and simple. I'm finding that I can share some of them with people and feel totally uplifted in that sharing. And I can share some with others who are skeptical, or doubtful, or just roll their eyes and leave me feeling deflated and sorry I even shared anything with them. It's almost as if they feel those types of things can ONLY happen to them, or because they never happen to them, they don't care to believe or hear about it happening. They don't share in it. They seem to scoff and leave you with that.. 'whatever' Feeling.
Where are the people who believe?

Sitting in church with friends: Every couple of months my friends and I would go to each others wards. Just because! It's fun to be a guest in different wards and partake of other people's knowledge and spirit. I've had friends ask me to come and be guest teachers or help them teach a lesson they've been preparing. Totally fun times.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I'm only happy going to church meetings and hanging around people from church. I'm saying that with all the other cool and fun things I do... and TRUST ME, I DO ALOT... these are the things I've eliminated the most. And recently I have missed them. I've craved them. And I want them back in my life. So I'll do what needs to be done to be able to have those things back.

Let me break it down with some Madea. If you don't know who Madea is by now, there really is no need for me to even try and explain.
Madea said something like this: "When you get tired, and I mean really tired of going through your stuff, the sadness, the dysfunction, not having peace inside yourself... when you really and truly get tired of it, you'll WILL DO WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE DONE TO COME UP OUT OF IT."
That really is the bottom line. You won't play the martyr. You wont get others to feel sorry for you, shoot, you won't even care what others think or how they feel. Because when you realize it's between you and God, really, you will do exactly what needs to be done to get things straight with him and whatever cost.

****ANYWAY, Back to my main point****

Try and feel blessed at least a few moments every day. It doesn't even have to be a huge thing. I could be something as simple as this: I went to sonic today, ordered 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and got them free because their credit card machine just stopped working. Yeah, go ahead and laugh. But I felt Highly Favored for the rest of the evening :) You know we do little things for our friends and family all the time to make them smile and feel good. I believe Heavenly Father does too, just to keep us reminded of his love.

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