LOOK OUT WORLD... HERE SHE COMES!!!

In 3 Days on May 4, 2013 My daughter will Graduate from Utah State University. GO AGGIES! I could not foresee this day 23 years ago when she was exactly the age of age of 3 months and four days (and 9 minutes) old. I was barely used to the idea of being a mom and in charge of another life be sides my own.  It feels like a hundred years and another life time ago.

  Random memories come flashing through my mind at different stages of her growing up. She was just as brilliant and genius as every other kid on the planet.  At the age of 2 when she was playing reverse peek a-boo by herself by putting a blanket on her head, pulling it off and saying…
“boooooooooooo!”
 Or running into the living room and say…
”mommy? What time is it?  Eight Firty!!”
 and run out of the room laughing out loud.  
We used to pass a gas station with a sculpture of a dinosaur next to it. One day, when she was the age of three, while I was pumping the gas she said…
 “Mommy… look at that tremendous dinosaur! Have you even seen a tremendous dinosaur like that before? I like tremendous dinosaurs!”


 Which prompted me to take her to the local museum to look at more dinosaur stuff.  That was the beginning of our discovering the world together. If she had an interest in some thing  I would  find way she could explore it and learn about it. Sometimes she was just ok learning a little more and other times she would delve into it with curiosity until the hunger for knowledge was explored and then we were on to the next thing.  In elementary school she liked  to do cartwheels so I put her in Gymnastics class.  One time she was in the yard until dark trying to get that stupid cartwheel down correctly.  When she sent her  mind to something. She did it.   We determined she was just too tall for her age and too young to coordinate her body to do gymnastics.  So it was on to the next things
 She had an interest in music and liked to play around with piano and key boards and sing.  So I put her in music lessons.. Since her Aunt had a key board she liked to play with. In Jr high school she fell in love with the violin and began lessons and learned to read music. This was the birth of her being as she calls herself  and “orch dork” (orchestra dork)  She may not remember but with her learning to play music we got her a keyboard and a self teach piano program so she wouldn’t be so board in the summer. She could go at her own pace.   She finished the piano program in less than a week. so she began put some of her poetry to music.   When she got bored with that, it was on to the next thing.   She became a crafty sort of person. I taught her how to make bath salts and she had beads and string and elastic and started making wooden bead bracelets.  She sold them to the ladies at my sister’s office.   I thought “hey, this kid can make money…”  
When her 1000 colored wooden beads were all gone… she was on to the next thing.   I kept her off of computer games and video games, which meant a lot of her entertainment, would come from good ol’
mom.  It was a love hate thing. When her friends were grounded or playing their video games, good ol’ mom would grab the tennis rackets or the roller blades and off we’d go. One day is was raining and we were bored so for 2 hours we just walked the neighborhood with the purpose of jumping into every mud puddle we could find. Who ever was dirtiest was the winner.
 (I won )

   I made sure that anytime she committed to something that involved other peoples time and money, she would commit to one year. If she was grounded it wouldn't be from a rehearsal or a practice where she was part of a team because the team would then suffer at her expense which is unacceptable.  I hope this is what helped her to be a team player and hold her end of responsibilities where other people were involved.  The sad thing is… while I was teaching my child these things, many of her friends were not learning the same things: being responsible, accountable, team players, following through with commitments and obligations.  She doesn’t deal  well with people who don’t have these same principles and ethics. She has learned to tolerant them while keeping them at arms length.
I taught her to drive at age 11.  Shoot! She was tall enough and pretty mature for her age.  So I would let her drive 2 blocks to where my sister worked, or 1 mile to church and back on Sundays.  Teaching her things  and watching her figure things out was fun.
Since the age of six she always said she wanted to be a “premature baby Dr.”   By Sixth Grade I was informed the correct verbiage was a Neonatalogist. (exxcuuuuze me!)


 When she entered JR High I only had 3 class requirements of her: She had to choose 1 instrument, 1 language and 1 sport and maintain it through High School.  She chose the violin, Spanish and basket ball. When she didn’t make the basket ball team she started throwing the discus for track. Either way those things along with her various church activities  kept her busy, out of trouble and entertained enough for her various interest.  I made deals with her that if her GPA didn’t drop below a certain point, she could skip school 2 days a semester, Which she never did because she hated missing school unless she was sick.  (who does that? “hates missing school mess…”)  On her birthdays I would send flowers and balloons.  A couple of times I showed up on her lunch break with a few pizza’s, balloons and cupcakes.  Yeah, I would just “show up” and not tell her.  I’ve done it since she was in elementary school.  To make sure she wasn’t screwing around in class and to make sure she wasn’t being screwed with in class.  And my parents did the same thing to me and my siblings.  I remember feeling horrified one day in 3rd grade looking up and seeing my father talking to the teacher.  I remember thinking…
 “uh ohh was I just asking a fool or was I in behavior mode..?”  It’s a good strategy. Every parent should do it.  
 My daughter was set on going  into the medical industry so she took a field trip to the medical lab at the University when she was 16.  It was cool, but the reality of having someone else’s life in your hands was a bit more than she felt she could take. So after all these years of wanting to be a “premature baby dr” she needed to find another career path.    So she chose engineering.  As long as I can remember anytime something broke, she wanted to tear it apart, look inside and see how it worked.  This kid has asked me for old TV sets, phones, radios, VCR’s, walkmans, etc.   “Mom, can I tear it apart and look inside??”   Even now every once in a while she’ll ask to destroy something.    The fun thing is…
she figures out how to fix a bunch of things too, like her car radio. Her next thing is to figure out how to change her own breaks.  Excellent, because then she can change mine too!  
  She was accepted to USU her senior year of H.S as an engineering major.  She also rec’ a four year tuition scholarship for Academics. She took the ACT’s twice.  USU wanted her BYU and U of U didn’t want her until after she took it the second time and increased her score.  She chose USU saying…
“IF USU wants to take credit for educating me to be the amazing person I'm going to be, who am I to stop them?” (Go ahead on baby girl!).
The more she was getting her General Education done and working toward the Engineering major the more she recognized how difficult it would be for her to have a family and be an engineer.   She also had a desire to help children and thought. She had many friends who were caught up in the foster care system. Eventually she changed her major to Something I can never remember, but it had to do with  being a family home therapist and dealing with families before they get to the point of sending children to foster care.   I have a few friends who work with Child welfare here in Utah so I sent her to work with one for the day.  She said it broke her heart but she hoped she could be of some help to these families.
My daughter has been fortunate to find scholarships, grants, internships and work study that pays for her other expenses.  She entered a work study program called  “read America” where she helped  tutor 3rd graders how to read.  This is where she fell in love . Soon after she was wanting  to change her major again.  She was reluctant because she felt she let the family down by not being a Doctor or Engineer.  I told her we don’t care what she graduates in as long as she graduates and can make a living.    She changed her major for what would be the last time.    She is good at what she does no matter what it is, but teaching children, she is excellent.  So much so that as a student, her professors have asked her to speak at Teacher conferences.  The dean of her college  tracked her down at her job  to tell her if she goes to graduate school is has to be a USU and they offered her a paid apprentice position  and internship to help with expenses.  She put a pause on that situation just tying to get through getting her bachelor’s degree.   To which she will be getting in 3 days.   3 days!  



  I have received conformation that before  my daughter was born, she was on the other side of Heaven hanging out with my Grandmother.

 My grandmother went to Lane College ( Same Time as Alex Haley I believe) and got a Degree in Nursing and  Nutrition. But since folks weren't hiring black Nurses or dietitians she ended up being a kindergarten teacher.  As a matter of fact many of my friends from JR High and High School were taught by my Grandmother . So my family is well known in the area for her, and my grandfather.   What’s even more amazing is my daughter is a Grandtwin. She looks like my grand         Alieshia: daughter @ H.S Graduation

Pearl Dryden (Flowers) Dudley: Grandmother                        

 (try punishing your 12 year old grandmother when she does something you want to smack her for…Not so easy!)


 I believe the 2 of them were thick as thieves before my daughter was born because there's soo much of my Grandmother in her. She was born 4 years after my Grandmother passed away. There was a lot of education going on up   there.  Primed and ready for the world.
 I don't think it's just coincidence that my child is following the footsteps of my Grandmother. I believe she listened to the whisperings of her ancestors and followed the path they created for her. So many doors opened when she was placed before them as if waiting for her to walk in.  For some of us it just happens that way. Her whole life has been that way and I had to make her brave, strong and independent enough to walk through them with or without me.

When I think of  my daughter and her education, 2 images come to mind.
One you will know of:
Ruby Bridges.  Every time I think of her story the first black child to integrate public schools. I cry.  She was six years old.  SIX YEARS OLD. What a heavy, heavy load for such a little girl.
Six years old!!! To be threatened and told her food was poisoned. How scary it must have been to face vicious hostile, white crowd just to get an education. Escorted by state Marshall's to keep her life intact. I can't Imagine. I'm so grateful for her strength and for her pioneer spirit that allowed her to march forward in paving the way.  Even her name, Ruby Bridges... a visible symbol in bridging racial gaps and standing out like the jewel she is. So strong in faith of her God in asking the father to "Forgive them, for they know not what they do.."  What an honor. I weep for the six year old who was brave and scared and did it anyway. I stand in awe of her courage.

 I weep for the six year old who was brave and scared and did it anyway. I stand in awe of her courage. 

 This other image I'll be almost no one recognizes. I went to the  Civil Rights exhibit and the Leonardo last February. It was  UH-MAY-ZING!   I saw this photo. I don't recall who the photographer is so if anyone out there knows, please tell me so I can give credit. 

 The story behind this photo was about the  first "HEAD START" and the sadness of how the black schools and student didn't have even the proper materials to learn with. 

The black preschools didn't have materials so butcher paper was hung on the brick walls since tables and desks were non existent for them. I saw this photo and immediately wanted a picture of it for my Daughter to one day hang in her classroom.  I wanted her to continue to be inspired to teach. I also want to get this picture of  Ruby Bridges...

   So she won't forget the road that was paved for her to have these graduating moments and so she will instill in her student this legacy (which actually belongs to us all, Black, White, Latin, Asian and everything in between) and desire to grain knowledge, and to fight the good right to pave the way for those who will come behind us.

  So my family has come for the graduation. And when I say family I mean those who walk the Earth and those who dwell on the other side.  I can see and hear them. ' My parents flew in today, my mother from Michigan and my Father from Arizona.  Their parents have already been here for a week. My daughter was wondering why the dog has been flipping out.  I didn't really tell her because these things tend to freak her out sometimes. But she has been surrounded by  Dudley's and Gambles and Jordans and Flowers and Warfield's for the last week. 

 She is their legacy and they are here to support and cheer her on to victory. I hope somehow she gets a small glimpse of who is here in her behalf. And I hope she knows they pleased with choices she made, the hurdles she's crossed and the accomplishment's she's achieved.  She is their success and the example of her family members who follow behind her.  The Lord has paved her way with blessings all her life and will continue to do so. 

  Many of my friends have looked at me with a saddened face and said... "She's all grown up now and startling life on her own don't you want to just hold her back for a little while, it's all moving so quickly?"   

 I say to them as a proud mother.   Hold her back?  NO WAY! I didn't  do all this to hold her back. How will I ever know what kind of mother I truly am unless I give her to the world and see what she can add to it? I"m excited to see her go. I'm excited to watch her fly. I'm excited for the world to be blessed with all she has to add to it! i can't wait to see her in action!"  I thank All who encountered my child  through education whether it be in the class room or outside of it.  As a Single mother I was NEVER a single mother.  So this is an accomplishment we share with many! I thank USU for taking her,  guiding her, nurturing her, calling her and letting her know there were scholarships and grants she qualified for and having her come in and apply for them. I thank USU for including health care cost into tuition so that was one less thing as a student she had to worry about.  I thank USU for having a Black Student Union to give minority kids like mine a place to come together and socialize in a safe environment  focusing on academics and community.  I thank My Daughter, Alieshia for putting in the work to reach those accomplishments that many who come from single parent homes don't end up reaching.

  As she puts on her cap and gown and  walks with her  Tassel and her  Cum Laud cords.... I'll be saying Watch out World... There's an Aggie in the house about to change the world in her own little way. 

Link the chain... LINK IT!!!

Great-Aunt Alice (Warfield) Darby and  My Dad! 

Tomorrow is my Great-Aunt Alice's funeral. She passed into the next chapter of her transition at the Age of 95. Let me tell you there is LONGEVITY in my family on both sides. My Great Grandfather  Asa Dudey, lived to the age of 99. My twin Grandma Evelyn (Jordan) Gamble (Mom's mother) is almost  95. Each time one passes I wish I knew them better and spent more time with them. Such is the case with Aunt Alice...and so many of the others.  There were some who were gone too soon. Papa, John Gamble, my mother's father passed away when I was only six.. My Grandma has been without her beloved spouse for 40 years. My Grandmother Pearle  (Flowers) Dudley, (father's mother) passed away my 2nd year of college.  Her mother, Johnnie Melba (warfield) Flower Worrell passed away a year before.  Johnnie Melba was  Aunt Alice's oldest Sister. My Great-Grandmother Johnnie Melba was the oldest of 13 children.  She had 1 child, Pearl Dryden (Flowers) Dudley. My daughter is her twin great-grand child, they look so much alike sometimes it freaks me out when I look at my daughter. (Have you ever tired to ground  your Grandmama's face on a 9 year old misbehavin  child?  yeah... it ain't so easy)

Norman Donald Dudley Sr & Pearl Dryden Dudley

Grandpa & Grandmother on their wedding day

Alieshia Dudley, Great-Grand daughter to Pearl D Dudley. 

Yeah, see what I mean? Twins run in our family even if they're generation apart.

 Actually Alieshia is a triplet... My Grandmother Pearl looks just like one of  my Great-Grandmother's sisters, Aunt Florence.   Aunt Florence and Grandmother were only a couple of years apart in age, i believe.  It used to trip me out to see them together.   My grandmother was a great educator in the Battle Creek School systems for many years. Most of my Jr High and High school friends had her as a kindergarten teacher. My daughter will be Graduating from College May 4th, exactly a month from today getting her Bachelors in Early childhood education.  she wants to teach kindergarten and will be taking after her great-grand mother Pearl. None of us are at all surprised!!

 My family is well known where I grew up. I call it cheers, because sometimes if definitely feels like everybody knows our name.  It made it difficult to act a fool and get away with anything.

I didn't know my great-aunt Alice well at all, and yet tears well up and spill over just at the loss of knowledge I failed to seek out in her and her siblings. She, I believe was the last to return. She has completed the family in more ways that ever imagined.

My daughter is a jr Genealogist and had a big hand in doing family history. She has reunited and connected quite a few family members. I think as African Americans it is detrimental to the future of our children to reconnect those family members that are lost.  Our African men and women were kidnapped from their native land and brought to another only to be sold off. Our father's were , beaten into submission and treated as ox mules and other work animals.. Our mother's were raped and bred as domestics, wet nurses and baby mills all  for the love of greed and power. Our families were ripped apart, some being snatched up on the middle of the night and sold off as property to pay debts or given as gifts to others.  Imagine your family waking up together, in tact but going to bed at night with missing members never to be seen or heard of again.   I believe our worth and esteem are wrapped up in the generations that have gone on before us. They have suffered, bled and died and paved the way so that we can walk the paths they never had the opportunity to enjoy or indulge in. 

They look behind them through the veil at us and cheer us on moving forward to accomplish those great things to add to the legacy they presented before us. It is for us to look forward in strength and  and perseverance to continue on in their legacy.  Each of us should strive to full the family chain with the links that bind us together through eternities..

My daughter found some families names and gave them to my sister a few (5)  years ago to have them added to the family temple work we do through our church. My sister misplaced the names. and have not been able to find them for years.   Aunt Alice passed away 8 days ago on March 25th. The Morning of March 26th my sister wakes me up by busting into my room announcing she's found the missing names.  I sleepily said to her ... "Oh, that was all Aunt Alice, she found them and let you to them.."  Most of the missing names were those of her direct siblings as well as my grand parents..  It was almost as if she was sayin...."not without me you don't!"  I'm happy to report we will be joining all of her sibling and her to their parents, along with any spouses the siblings may have.  

 I can almost hear them congratulating each other on the fine job  what their family is doing now. Oh how I envy those reunions on the other side of the veil

THE WARFIELD FAMILY (most of them) All on the other side hangin with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

To MyAncestors by Carol Lynn Pearson:

"I wonder-

Did I peek through the veil impatiently,
While you slowly forged the bonds that brought me to mortality?
And do you now stand where I stood
Yesterday,
Your cheeks against Heaven’s curtains
and pray-
Pray fervently for me to forge the bonds,
that bring us to eternity?"

*Link the chain...people. LINK IT!!! And bring the family together again!!

Why Weepest Thou?

1. I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.

2. I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,
That he should extend his great love unto such as I,
Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.

3. I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.

[Chorus]
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

Charles H. Gabriel, 1856–1932

**ON this day we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.. Although religion has changed in the passed years to accommodate every interpretation, thought process and way of life, 2 things remain constant to me: God the father allowed his only begotten son to be born into this Earth so he could one day be the sacrificial land for all who would live here. PERIOD.  It didn't matter their race, stature, weight, gender, or gender preference. He didn't care if they were Republican, Democrat, Liberal. You didn't have to be right wing, left wing or enjoy chicken wings.  Any who possess a physical body would qualify for this sacrificial love.  When the children of the world turn on each other in anger, I can't help but wonder how much the Lord weeps in our behalf and in behalf of the wasted efforts of the Sacrifice of his son. Ours is not to judge but to accept and allow God to use judgement.  

**THE GREATEST GIFT WE CAN GIVE HEAVENLY FATHER IS TO LOVE EACH OTHER**

*we must do better at loving each other*

Do You Need A Release From Relief Society?

For some sister in church, Relief Society is just what the Dr ordered: A way to reconnect as a women with women who understand the everyday trials of being a wife and mother and running a house hold. We talk about frustrations of husband and kids and what works in dealing with them. Some of us a crafty and sew, cook, tole paint  scrap book, do photography and even offer to share the pattern for how to created a cool interactive family home evening lesson or create the latest  tu-tu for our baby daughters to wear when they have their 1 year old photography session next month. We find encouragement and uplifting messages that strengthen us and prepare us to carry on in faith another week "til we meet again." We  Love It!






OR ...

 For some it's a lecture on how much we're lacking or falling short in areas. We listen to the "Uplifting" messages only to recognize we argue and nag our spouse too much, we're much to embarrassed to accept visiting teachers because the house is too messy and the thought of sitting in church with 3 screaming babies and their autistic toddler is too much to even think about. We find ourselves being preached to and chastised for not being patient enough, loving enough, giving enough and frankly too tired to really care that Sister Perfecto has won this months Better Homes and Garden award for being Superwoman once again. We Hate It!



OR

For some of us we show up because we're supposed to. This weeks lesson was AMAZING. But Sister Lack-luster is teaching next week and since she just reads right from the book I can stay home and do that myself so I'd rather sleep in.  How exciting the ward is having a Date night for all the married couples with a guess speaker focusing on finding intimate moments in a house full of chaos. Can a single sister come and bring a date, oh wait... we're staying way from intimate moments until marriage. Shoot, I wanna go cuz I may be single..BUT I CAN GET A DATE...!   Oh I was so excited to hear about the ARM  activity!  (For those who don't know what "ARMS" are they are Additional Relief Society Meetings. that should be tailored to the needs of the ward.) Until I realized it was the pattern  for the  "Holiday Quilt" the honeymoon sisters are making or the Fall page for the "quiet books" the new mothers are making. Or the Family Personal Care list the wilderness sisters need to catch up on their food storage disaster kits. We love it!...AND We hate it!  






I recognize myself in the 3rd Category. Let me first say it's taken me 27 years to get to this category.  I've been through them all! I was relief society preparedness specialist at the same time as being  Pack Committee Chair for Cub Scouts, Girls Camp Director and Beehive Advisor and of course the auto-calling of visiting teacher to 1 active and 3 inactive sister.  All of this was going down at the same time my daughter was in elementary school, having music, voice and gymnastic lessons while working a full time job.   Did I also mention I'm a single mother.  You can't do all of this as a single woman an not experience it all.

Currently, though I'm identifying with the Love/Hate relationship. A part of me calls  Bull Crap on the Relief Society "Arms!"  Does a ward really need to know how to make little baby tu-tu for all holidays and seasons? Sure it's fun and cute and we need those types of things. But I dare say most if not all sisters could benefit more from learning how to change a tire or spark plugs. Or weatherize the house. And I swear we've mastered the one dish :  Insert " hamburger/chicken, frozen vegetable  creamy soup" here and sprinkle with crunch breakfast cereal topping back at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Or throw 1 can of everything in the crock pot cook all day and throw it over some rice recipes.      I know some of the latest fads are belly dancing classes (LDS Sista's all over the world are letting their inner eroticism out by belly dancing and disguising under Aerobics.) Zumba (a great way to release the energy of wanting to smack your teenager for the blatant disrespecting they did of you in the store earlier.) and the ever popular wall crafts reminding friends, family and neighbors that it's Easter, or July 4th or Halloween. And as of  late, extreme couponing! How to greedily clear the shelves, take more than you need in this lifetime for free and the store ends up owing YOU money. I know some career couponers who do it for sport, not out of necessity.  

  Again, these things are awesome and needed.  But times are tough! Where are the REAL needs like How to change a belt on my washing machine or vacuum cleaner? How to budget for emergencies. Or how to keep my kid from knocking out your kid for calling them a slur, racial, gender, physical or otherwise.   Bullying is also the latest fad... but I don't see anyone teaching classes on how to stop your kid from bullying the kid next door while at school. are  THESE things we should be using our Relief Society Arms for also?  To strengthen home and family is to strengthen the community.   SO while we're being all nice and cozy playing Dr Phil, Dr Oz and Oprah (I'd say Ellen too, but some don't see her being a role model, being gay and all. Which I don't have a problem with I  think she's an Excellent Role Model but I am sitting here in Mormon Utah ...)  the rest of the world is not really giving a rats tail  that the  Wilson's changed their Holiday Wall hanging to St Patricks Day, or that Baby Emma's spring tutu is ready for her next photo opp or that the Newly wed Sister Blissful just mastered her first loaf of homemade all wheat and honey bread.  Perhaps we ought to look at what the sister's really need.
   I use visiting teaching as an example.  We all do it. We all have them.   After giving the lesson 4 times, I get tired of it.  1 Because I know my sisters are giving it also and they know it. 2. They may not want or need the monthly thought.  They may need me to pick up little Joey from Soccer or fold the sheets that have been sitting in the dryer for 2 days because she can't get to it. Too many of us are going by the book and not by inspiration. We do this a lot as LDS member... we have manuals to keep track of manuals. I've come to the point of "whats the point of going to church if we all have all the books and everything is being taught from the books?" The point is... I would be afraid to live and learn of this world just going by my perspective.  What I'm learning is.... most people aren't this way.  Most people are happy with the Text book learning and the text book answers and are fearful to deviate from it.   I find this attitude boring and lazy.  It is possible to be unified and united  in our diverse lives and situations. THAT is one of the  beauties of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  That should be the beauty of Relief  Society





. Perhaps if when we did come, we came with our unique individual talents and perspectives and added to what's already there instead of passively seething inside while waiting for the time to pass  we might love it a little more.   I say we each enter into Relief Society with a goal to at least once a month share a unique perspective to the Relief Society experience. Mix it up a little and don't settle for the cookie cutter answers in the book.   NOW GET OUT THERE AND RELEASE THE RELIEF IN OUR SOCIETY!


Did you Identify with any of the situations? I'd love to hear from you!

I'M NOT WEARING PANTS TO CHURCH ON 12/16/12!

I'm not sure whose "brilliant" ideah it was to make today "wear Pants to church day" for the Mormon women but I'm not following "suit."
This may very well be a black thang.
     I guess thousands of Mormon women are feeling oppressed in their dresses and pressured to conform to what they call social norms.
        I have never felt this way. I think sometimes Mormons folks get confused as to what is doctrine, what is opinion and what is tradition. You would think after reading and knowing the Book of Mormon that we'd recognize the possible harms of following tradition as doctrine.
And be more inclined to seek answers for ourselves.
    The greatest examples are those things such a withholding the Priestood from worthy black members or not being allowed to drink caffeine. These practices went on for years I believe mostly due to traditions passed on and not questioned til years later.
    I've been LDS 40 of my 45 years. I know this makes me a Black Pearl of Great Price!
Some feel that its all I know. But I remember going to the neighbor Penticostle church. It was fun jumping on the Sunday school bus with the rest of the kids in the neighborhood and singing songs about how Jesus Loves me. My Great-grandfather, Reverend Henry Flowers had his own Baptist Church back in the day. I've frequented several of friends and family members and in doing so I am not afraid or pressured into wearing a dress to church. Quite the opposite! I am honored to do so and do it freely by choice.
I come from a strong black heritage, a strong southern heritage, and a strong Mormon heritage. Two of those heritages trump the one on this 'wear pants to church day'.
     I can't imagine having the conversation with my Mama:
" Mama they wearing pants to church today...."
"Who is they?"
"Well its wear pants to church today for the women.."
"What women? Not for no women in MY house. Cuz we don't dress for nobody but the Lord on Sunday. When we enter His house the women of THIS house will give him our best.
I dont know a black woman alive who wears pants to church.  I don't know a southern woman alive who wears pants to church. I'm not saying their aren't any I'm just saying I am not aware of any.
We black folks love dressing up for Jesus!!!  And other important occasions.

We don't all dress to be part of or to go against social norms. We black folks "DRESS" out of respect and Love for Jesus and Heavenly Father.
I'm not surpised to see this sort of thing come about in the church...after all it comes from s place where people would rather dress up for a daily paycheck and show up in jeans and shorts or business casual for your wedding reception. (Yes Mormon folks...weddings and funerals ARE formal or. Semi- formal occasions.)
When I walk into the Lord's house for worship I want to present my best self in attitude, actions and appearance.
If it were a pantsuit Damn skippy I'd be wearing one.
I have 6 days a week to make political statements and market whatever agenda I believe in. However, Sunday is not the day and my Father's house is not the place.
I'm not concerned about feeling oppressed or inferior in church. I was taught the Lords house should be the one place every person should know or feel like they belong no matter their station in life. No matter their appearance. I choose to wear my best. I don't care if you come in boxers and wife beaters or halter an mini skirt I'm just glad you came. Sad to say most do not and may never feel they way.

I'm not saying anyone can't properly worship and learn about the Lord according to the close I wear.  My personal reasonings on wearing my dresses and skirts is I act more appropriately when dressed this way. I'm more readily available to put off the things of the business of the  world and focus on spiritual things of the world. 
    If dressing and presenting ourselves properly weren't so important  I wonder if these same women wearing pants to church would make the same statement of wearing pants  instead of a wedding dress??  Why not do  "not wear a bra to church" day? NOW THAT I can get into. I'd say pantyhose and slips but I stopped Wearing those 10 years ago. (Don't tell my mama)  I don't see the point in this wearing pants movement. I've always felt I could wear what I want...and I have for the most point.

I think people put boundaries on themselves due to traditions because they haven't the eggs or esteem to dare to be their own kind of beautiful. They're too worried about what the ward busy body is thinking or what the ward gossip is spreading or disapproving looks from the pastor, priest, elders or bishops. If I felt I were  properly presenting my self in slacks at church on Sunday no one could stop me from wearing them. But I dress my best for Jesus. And even though I dress my best for Jesus, he will take me as is. Hollaluyer!!!

IF YE ARE PREPARED YE SHALL NOT FEAR!!

Final words regarding the 2012 election. I am deeply saddened at the realization of who some people truly are. This election has separated, the nations, friends and family. Which says more about the people, then it does about the Presidency. I've been instructed to  always respect and pray for those in leadership positions regardless of how I personally have felt about them because they will always need guidance. I have been given this counsel from my parents, church leaders and even educators.  THIS election I am ashamed to admit who I know. Not by how they voted and who they supported. But by the verbal vomit they display upon the victory or loss of who they supported.  I have heard and seen people who call themselves Christians display so much hate and intolerance and even a refusal to pray for the aid of our nation's leaders for being the anti Christ and followers of Lucifer.  It amazes me that it comes to that depth hate and negativity as to say THIS election is the door that opens up the Second Coming.   If I could throw a reality slap across the United States right now, I would.  WHY does it have to go THAT FAR? Why does the President Re-elect have to be an Anti-Christ? A devil worshiper? The reason the 2nd coming will come upon us more quickly?   Why can't he just be "one more president I didn't vote for who won the election?" Why are those who did vote for him "Ignorant freeloaders who want a hand out?
     IS GOD NOT IN CHARGE? I believe he is.  He was in charge during slavery. He was in Charge during the depression. He was in charge During the Hitler Years....and he is in charge now.  He has a plan. Regardless of how we humans may mess up, HE HAS A PLAN.  AND HE IS WORKING THAT PLAN.  I believe the plan wont a minute before it's supposed to.  I have a hard time believing most of the comments about the election and president re-elect are inspired or prompted by  the Holy Spirit of Promise.   while we point the finger, stand in judgment and wade in hate and negativity WE do more damage to our country than any one president could ever do.  And if you do feel "prompted and inspired" to continue to spew such hatred, negativity, judgement, toward Our President Re-elect and anyone who may have supported him I plead with you to get down on your knees and pray for tolerance, patience, and direction as to what YOU can do in your homes, lives, churches and communities to help get this country back on it's feet.  Talks is noise. Complaining about it to each other doesn't help. Being angry at anyone who voted and supported differently than yourself...is a waste of time. It is costing people family members and friendships.

   If we truly have faith that Heavenly Father is in charge...and nothing man can do can halt the work of the Lord... then we ought to be ashamed of ourselves for the treatment of those having a differing opinion.      Jesus  is not coming back before he is supposed. In the mean time. We still have much work to do.   IF YE ARE PREPARED YE SHALL NOT FEAR.   I'm not scared.... ARE YOU? 

KISS ME I VOTED!!!