The Things We Come Up With!

K, so my daughter informs me today after I dropped my scriptures:
"Mom, you know every time you drop your scriptures your future spouse gets uglier?"

I totally fell out! I mean I was CUHRACK UH LACKIN UP! In between me giggling and snorting all over the place she said.."ok, you laugh, but you're gonna have a butt ugly son in law too!"
True there's the old superstitions and things about weddings and spouses and what not:
http://www.oldsuperstitions.com/index.php?query=wedding

But we Mormons have a whole language of our own:
How well liked you are in your ward is directly in proportion to how many zucchini's are your doorstep when you get home from work during the summer months.

Ok THIS one may be true. The last ward I was in, they loved me. And in the summer, it was nothing for me to come home and have 3-8 zucchini squashes waiting for me each day.

And riding home through the neighborhood, some neighbors wouldn't have any. Sad days. I was always giving mine away. You can only do SOO Much with zucchini. I have a fabulous stuffed zucchini AND zucchini bread recipe.

ok another one: If you're lazy/disobedient on you mission your spouse will be ugly.

Maybe we have a fetish with looks? Hows that for being shallow?

If you take the sacrament unworthily, you'll get food poisoning. That would be one way to wipe out a majority of a whole stake or area almost immediately wouldn't it?

I'm not saying we are prone to taking it unworthily, however, I bet we'd be surprised and who would turn up ill. Especially if it's ourselves.

Mormons have horns! You know, I was polishing mine the other day. Unfortunately, it was just a Shoe horn.

If you're doing wrong or in trouble and native Americans show up, they're one of the 3 nephites.
Listen up! I've been in plenty of trouble and the 3 native Americans that came to my aide were just Jose, Vlady and Hector, 3 guys I work with.
I know thy 3 Nephites are out there. But I'm PRETTY sure, they're gonna let me change my own tire if I have flat. How do I know.... because I've changed my own tire...so many times.... ALONE!

oh, this is one of my favorites.... Only Mormons speak truth about religion. PEOPLE ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This kind of thinking will send us all straight to hell if we aren't careful.

let me know what kinds stuff yo

Oh man. Ya gotta love us!