HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Each day is another year gone by and each year is another landmark in our lives.
We focus on certain land marks such as births, deaths, anniversaries and other various events with monumental meaning, forgetting the greatness of each day.

When I wake up do I look around and focus on what’s right in my life or what’s wrong? Have I piled up walls around me of the bad and negative things and imprisioned myself by it each day? Have given in to Lucifer’s invitation to anger, depression, hopelessness, contention, pride, and sadness or have I chosen to surround myself with the goodness and positives that encourage my own goodness, hope, joy and love?

The sun rises and sets each day, regardless if I see it or not. Some days the Sun’s rays are blocked by heaven’s clouds and some days the Sun’s rays are blocked by my own clouds. Recently I’ve found strength in know that although there are days I may not see the sun and it‘s light , or feel it’s warmth, I KNOW the sun is there. Sometimes its minutes before the sun appears and sometimes its days. But I know its’ there and soon I will see it’s brightness and feel it’s warmth. I only need to be patient and wait. While I wait, I do those things that keep me patient until I can see the light and feel the warmth of the sun again: I wear warm clothing to protect me from the cold. I use lights and other things to help me see and to guide my way throughout the day so the visual absence of the sun doesn’t hinder my everyday life. Doing these things gives me comfort, patience, peace, love and it sustains me.



Each day by focusing on the things that give me comfort, peace and love it seems to attract and increase more of those things. (Is this what is meant by “The Law of Attraction?”) And those things of a negative, depressing nature seem to fade. And it’s not that they really disappear, they just sort of fade away to a point where their importance has diminished greatly and they become easier and less tedious to deal with. I’m anxious to deal with them so those things can be replaced with something more positive.



Take some time this Thanksgiving to think about those things that give you patience, peace and love. Seek them out daily to sustain you, until the sun begins to shine again in your life. You may not always feel it, you may not always see it, but know that the sun is ALWAYS there. There are always things to be grateful for each day and focusing on them will create even more things to be grateful for each day. I promise :)

Homework: Now go back and reread this and replace the meaning of "The Sun" with "THE Son" after clicking this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUhU0HgTq94

And have a BEAUTIFUL Day and a Happy Thanksgiving!

The Lord Will Not Force Himself Upon People;

"...And if they do not believe, they will receive no visitation. If they are content to depeond upon their own limited calculations and interpretations, then, of course, the Lord will leave them to their choesn fate...
... The almighty is with his people. We shall have all the revealations that we shall need if we do our duty and keep th ecommandments of God....
Remember:
If there be eyes to see, there will be visions to inspire
If there be ears to hear, there will be revealations to experience
If there be hearts which can understand, know this: That the exalting truths of Christ's gospel will no longer be hidden and mysterious, and all earnest seekers my know God and his program..."
(Teachings of Presidents of the Church, Spencer W Kimball; Chapter 22)
Today we discussed how we can be prepared to recieve revealation. Each of us have the ability to recieve it regarding our lives and those we have special fellowship over. The great thing about revealation is that it's one of MANY ways the Lord communicates with us. The most important things we need to remember about recieving revealations is we must be willing to put in the effort of being worthy and willing to recieve it. If we keep in mind that Heavenly Father wants us to succeed and will aide in that success if we do our part. Doing our part is usually more than just dropping to our knees and issuing up a quick "holla back, Lord." Jumping up and then continuing on our way. I know at least for me it usually takes more than just that. I will say, however on times when I do feel closest to the Lord, some times it is just that easy. Those times are rare indeed.

I've been working on the passed few months increasing my Faith in God the father and his son Jesus Christ. I've got some close to heart issues I've been working on and they have been of great concern for me for quite some time. I've half heartedly offered up prayers in answer to my questions regarding these things but must admit I've not really paid much attention to what could be the answers. A couple of things come to mind as to why:

1. Is there a certain "pay off" being in a state of ignorance?

I would have to say yes. There's very little ownership or responsibility.
It allows me to be spiritually lazy. And if it's something I have no real desire to take care of in my life, then I make the choice of being dumb to the situation. If i don't know what steps to take to move forward, then I don't have to take responsibility or accountability to act on it.

2. Am I ready for the answer?
In most cases, I am ready for the answer. And upon recieving that answer, I'm usually pretty quick to act. I have energy and focus take the answer and immediately apply it. It is very rare that I have a situation I'm not ready to recieve the answer on. But I think this is the case with my current situation. I'm unclear of what I'll have to do if I recieve the answer and if it's not what I would like it to be, I'm not sure I'm strong enough to act on it.

*sigh* What's a girl to do? Well one thing about me is I really don't like for things to be unsettled. Because it keeps resurfacing and that's just annoying. Toward the end of Relief Society our focus was brought to Enos Chapter 1 vs 4 in the Book Of Mormon:

"And my soul hungered and I knelt before my Maker and I cried unto him in
mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached into the heavens..."

Tell me that's not a man who was prepared for revealation. He not only was prepared for it, he was anxious for it. Ready for it. Willing to do what was needed to impliment it when he rec'd it.

That's how we need to become when we are seekin answers to prayers, or aide in situations that are beyond ourselves. We gotta want it. We gotta be hungry for it. We gotta be intentional. And we are and THEN seek Heavenly Father to recieve it, it shall be given. The Lord said in

Matthew 21:22: And all things whatsoever ye ask in prayer believing, ye shall recieve.

In 1 nephi 15: 11: Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?—If ye will not harden your hearts, and aske me in faith believing that ye shall recieve with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you.

There is no reason for the Lord to withhold information or blessings from of if we and THEY are righteous.
We did recieve homework at the end of the class. Well anyone who is going to church goes home with homework, or should, at least in my opinion. So maybe I'll say we were given a challenge.

Here is the Challenge:

"Do you want guidance? Have you prayed to the Lord for inspiration? Do you want to do right or do you want to do what you want to do whether or not it is right? Do you want to do what is best for you in the long run or what seems more desirable for the moment? Have you prayed? How much have you prayed? How did you pray? Have you prayed as did the Savior of the world in Gethsemane or did you ask for what you want regardless of its being proper? Do you say in your prayers: “Thy will be done”? Did you say, “Heavenly Father, if you will inspire and impress me with the right, I will do that right”? Or, did you pray, “Give me what I want or I will take it anyway”? Did you say: “Father in Heaven, I love you, I believe in you, I know you are omniscient. I am honest. I am sincerely desirous of doing right. I know you can see the end from the beginning. You can see the future. You can discern if under this situation I present, I will have peace or turmoil, happiness or sorrow, success or failure. Tell me, please, loved Heavenly Father, and I promise to do what you tell me to do.” Have you prayed that way? Don’t you think it might be wise? Are you courageous enough to pray that prayer?" (Teachings of Presidents of the Church, Spencer W Kimball; Chapter 22)

Am I courageous enough to pray that prayer? Usually, YES, absolutely without a doubt. But as to this current situation.... I wasnt. But now, I feel I am. If Im not, my own personal challenge is to prepare myself to be in a place to be courageous enough to pray that prayer very soon. THAT prayer is a life changing prayer. Whatever That prayer is for you, you have to really be ready and willing to pray it. There is a mighty strength and humility to praying THAT prayer because it will require action. That action may be to stop doing somethings that maybe you shouldn't be doing. It may require you to take people out of your life or place them in a more appropriate place or distance in your life. It requires you to prioritize. It requires you to act in a way that is conducive to the answer Heavenly Father has provided. It requires you to take responsibility and be accountable for following or NOT following the council recieved.

My Grandma would say... "girl, before you ask the question MAKE SURE you want to know the answer, cuz you just might get it." Amen to that Grandma.

I hope that as we all look at where we are in our lives regardless of activity or status in the church we will all prepare ourselves to be courageus enough to pray THAT prayer.

President Kimball also said:

"If one rises from his knees having merely said words, he should fall back on his knees and remain there until he has established communication with the Lord who is very anxious to bless, but having given man his free agency, will not force himself upon that man..."


"...And if they do not believe, they will receive no visitation. If they are content to depeond upon their own limited calculations and interpretations, then, of course, the Lord will leave them to their choesn fate..."


Good Luck with Praying THAT prayer!

Cuz That's How I Roll!

My daughter, now 17 came up to me when she was about 8 yrs old and said..

"Mom, how come we don't have pictures with black people on the walls?The only pictures of black people are you and me"

Hhhhmmmmm!

So I looked around the walls of my apt and notice she was right. And it was a great question. We had pictures of a couple of temples, the first presidency of the church, a little girl sitting at the knee of Christ. A man returning with honor for his earthly journey and into the arms of God the Father, The Christus, A family in front of the temple... I guess what I'm trying to say is we had pictures in our home of all those nicey nice LDS eternal goals and things. It was LDS art. But we couldn't find any art at the time that had multi cultural families depicted. Usually it wouldn't matter, because up until this point, it didn't matter at least to me. As I listened to her ask some more questions and thing about things out loud, I heard what she WASN'T asking. And what she wasn't asking was this:

We have pictures of all these people receiving all these blessings and ordinances of our Church, but none of them really identify with me as a little black girl.

How do I know this was what she was asking? Cuz we discuss it through the years as she got older.

I started being intentional about finding art that depicts some of our culture as black women and as LDS women.

Here are some of my treasures. It's mostly photo's of the photo's in my home now so excuse the flash lighting on the pics.

This blanket means very much to me. I use it a lot of my youth firesides I do called "Tapestry"

Each individual color and strand of this tapestry plays and important roll in the final design of the blanket. Just as each of God's children and their individual beauty plans an important roll in the Lords Final design. Together in our different colors, shapes and sizes we are the Lords Masterpiece. Just as this Blanket is a masterpiece.

I went through a phase where I collected black angels. I don't know why but I wanted black angels. Some of my white friends asked me "why does it matter?" I said it doesn't matter Per Se, I just want what I want and I want black angels. When I asked them why they had white angels, white dolls, white greeting cards and such they shut up really quick. That's who they are and its' what their family identifies with. It's not some great issue, it's just what I wanted. They also thought a Black Santa clause was weird. Well the Santa that came to my house each year was black. No biggie, he just was. Why wouldn't he be? Anyway I found this tapestry blanket in a magazine a few years ago. It's called "FAITH" I purchased about 10 or 12 of these blankets. I gave one to my mom, step mom, sister in law, sister, daughter and various other friends.

I have a friend who lives a couple hours north of me. When I met him he was going through a very VERY Rough time. I think he appreciates this blanket more than anyone else I've given them to. When he found out I was LDS he basically went off on me saying

"I guess it was nice knowing you, I haven't been to church in years...."

I had to tell him... "I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, but I've enjoyed getting to know you. If you feel you need to move on, then I can accept and respect that. I don't care "

He was shocked. And we became pretty good friends

I remember one year he said Christmas hasn't come for me in years. So that year, for Christmas I gave him just a book filled with uplifting quotes about life and the difficult times we go through and the blessings we receive and sometimes forget. I fell in love with my Dakota Moon C.D so I have him that as well & with that I also gave him one of the blankets. I think he said he framed it and hung it on his wall. That was about 8 years ago. I recently was in touch with him. He had gotten married and was in the middle of a divorce. He said to me.

"I still have that blanket you gave me. You must be my black angel, because when times are hard without even knowing, you appear back into my life to help me along, just like an angel."

My response to him was... " I AM YOUR BLACK ANGEL!" Many people have called me their Angel. My Halo may be tarnished at times and some feathers may be missing from my wings but I AM an angel.

I love Jason. I love this blanket. And I love being a black angel :)


This is probably my favorite photo of all time.

It used to be part of a calendar I had. Some of my earliest memories are my mother reading to us from the bible. This was before we were baptized members of the church. This reminds me of my mom in her greatest moments of trials and strength. What's really amazing about this piece of artwork is, it also reminds me of my Grandma, my mother's mom. Because I see images of her as well sitting on her couch with her bible open watching the PTL club. So for me this is timeless of all the Mama's and Grandmama's in my family. It reminds me of them all because they were very into knowing and studying their scriptures. I want some day for this picture to remind those in my family of me.

This is probably my next favorite piece.

If I could find a wall size print of this I'd put it in my living room.

This is a greeting card I actually framed. It's of the Prophet Joseph Smith imprisoned. Feeling forgotten, burdened and alone

There's not a man, woman or child on earth who can't or wont identify with this picture sometimes if not many in their lives. If I look at it long enough it brings me to tears. I've had many dark days this year when I have literally broke down and looked towards heaven searching for comfort, hope, relief, protection and love. The beauty is I have received! This one is very dear to me.

This is a favorite with the Sisters in the ward when they come over and chill.

It's pretty self explanatory: My Black Moses!

SHOOT! Who wouldn't mind a black Moses to come along and rescue them from the things we're a slave to in this world. "LET MY PEOPLE GO!"

Dreads, staff, and alla that! What I like most about it, is the look in his eye. He knows, that he knows, that he knows there is a force behind him that Pharaoh will never be able to stand a chance against. He just knows it. His look is determined with faith unwavering. HE BELIEVES.

And best of all, he's right over my fire place mantle :)

It reminds me to try and have that look in my eyes. I want to look like I know, that I know, that I KNOW!

This one is called the the Baptism

It reminded me of a program I saw called "Pioneer Saints in Africa." Or something like that on BYU-TV.

Most people don't realize that back in the 1960's in Africa there were literally stakes waiting to be baptised. But the church didn't send missionaries to Africa at the time. For 18 years some people waiting to become members of my church. I recall the words of a man who went in for his baptismal interview and as he was asked each question he replied, "yes, I've been living that way for 18 years." ATE-TEEN-YEERZ!

WOW! All I can say is WOW. How many of us can't go one week w/o breaking a baptismal or temple covenant? (that's a whole other blog, yeah?)

The way has been paved and we are so blessed to be in a time when all the blessings and knowledge of the gospel are available to us at the touch of our fingertips and in our homes.

This picture reminds me of my daughter when she was about that age.

Right down to the hair.

My daughter was always pretty self content and self entertaining. She would lay on the couch, put a cover on her head and play peek-a-boo all by herself and just giggle away. Once when she was about 4 or 5 she saved some water melon seeds and planted them. She took a plastic spoon and dug a small hole with it, put in her handfuls of seeds and put a mound of dirt on top of it. She would even go out and water it a couple times a week. One day she was staring out the window.

"Boppy, what you lookin at?" I asked her.

"I waiting for my plant to grow mommy!"

"Really?!" I said, half enthused.

And that was that. I didn't pay any more attention to her and this plant. I figured it would die and she would forget about it. A couple months later I noticed this crazy vine in the bush area of our apt complex. didn't pay too much attention to it. By the end of summer this vine was out of control and even growing around the rails to the upstairs apartments. Turns out that my child grew water melon that summer. The whole apartment complex enjoyed several water melons that summer. During the fall the apartment owners ripped out their bushes and began to grew squash and watermelon from now on. Yeah, I have a pretty cool kid. This reminds me of her childhood. I think I learned more from her than she'll ever learn from me.

Another Favorite with the women who come over!

I liked this for a few reasons. It's called the FIRST SUPPER.

There's 13 really buff men in this photo depicting the LAST SUPPER. Their skin is all different shades of chocolate and Carmel. And EVERYONE loves chocolate and Carmel. Yes I know it's an Black vision of the first supper, you can tell by the watermelon and other fruits. And don't trip, I happen to love watermelon AND I'm addicted to fried chicken. Now what?

I figure the olive or darker skin and woolen hair is probably more accurate anyway.

I love this Statue!

It's not elegant or expensive or anything like that. But It's me and my girl. When I decided to keep my baby girl the song that played in the radio was Bobby Browns... "every little step I take, you will be there." And the other song that has been running through my mind the last 18 years is "just the 2 of us. We can make it if we try just the two of us." I was pleased when Will Smith did the remix of that song with his son.
This is the close up.

It speaks to my cultural side, my motherhood, my spiritual side, my whimsical and funny side, my sexy side. (Yeah, I do have sexy side somewhere in there). I reminds me that my I AM all those things, cultural, mom, spiritual, whimsical, funny and sexy. My daughter are is becoming these things as well.

They aren't much I know but they've helped keep a healthy cultural balance at least in my immediate home. My family is pretty well integrated and I'm proud of that. To take a disliking to any one culture because it would be me disliking a part of myself.

We also have the Typical LDS art in our home: temple, Christis, family pictures and such. This year i want to start a wall with friends and their families on my wall. What better way to have a feeling of joy and love in your home a wall dedicated to those friends and family members you love. Also if you feel you are struggling with finding art you can use anything. I have several greeting cards in 5x7 frames. Same with calendar photo's and just crazy picture's I've taken myself.

Anything that helps create a feeling of love and happiness and uplifting should be displayed in your home, because as you feel these things, so will those who enter.

........ If there is anything virtuous lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things!

"I GOT YO BACK!"

In the LDS world yesterday, just as every first Sunday of the month was fast Sunday. That means we've skipped 2 meals and given the money we would have spent on those meals to fast offering to help feed the poor and add funds to the church welfare system. It also means that our Sacrament meeting would be a testimony meeting. That's where members of the congregation are able to stand and bear witness to the truthfulness of God the father, his son Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Ghost as well as other Gospel truths : the power of prayer, having faith, priesthood power and so on.
Let's talk about priesthood power. We believe that priesthood is the power on earth to act in the name of God.
Elder Groberg in his 2001 April Conference address (priesthood session) said:

"Just as clean wires, properly connected, are required to carry electrical power, so clean hands and pure hearts are required to carry priesthood power. Filth and grime slow or prevent the flow of electrical power. Unclean thoughts and actions interfere with individual priesthood power. When we are humble, clean, and pure of hand, heart, and mind, nothing righteous is impossible."

I think this is one of the best descriptions of Priesthood power I've ever heard.

Yesterday in sacrament a baby was blessed. Another of our LDS typical ordinances done on fast Sunday. The Brother conducting the meeting called forth all the men who would be in the blessing circle. A few men, typically male family members of the baby and it's parents are those who come forth. The father holds the baby in the right palm of his hands, those in the circle place their right hands under the baby to support him/her as well and then place their left hand on the shoulder of the brother in front of him, connecting them altogether in a circle. A blessing is then pronounced upon the baby. It was a beautiful blessing. But what really captures my attention was the blessing circle. When they called for the those who were asked to be in the circle men just kept coming and coming. There were altogether, i think 17 men, it that circle. It was the 2nd largest circled I'd ever seen. The size of the circle doesn't really matter it's all about the worthiness of the men and the power they hold to present the child to the Lord.
Typically I closed my eyes during these things but for some reason I was mesmerized by the men in the circle. 17 of them. I looked at their hands on the backs of their brothers and all I knew about the power of the prieshood came to mind.

I wanted to shout... " HEY! THA'S AN AWESOME FRATERNITY Y'ALL BELONG TO!" It really is. Men of God standing righteously together with his power. Who wouldn't want to be a member of that brotherhood. And the symbolism of their hand on the shoulders of their brother in front of them as if to say.... "It's Ok, man, Cuz I GOT YO BACK!" A BAND OF BROTHERHOOD! I made me giddy with delight!

I thought about that all through sacrament.... that Priesthood power is the same as saying... "I Got Yo BACK!" Never have I seen such a fantastic visual example of it! It actually made me giddy inside thinking of all those around me in that building that had my back from Bishopric down to the little 4 year old Joey who ran in front of me yelling,
"I get the door for you sister "Duglee."

I laughed. My hands were full my arms had stuff spilling over the top of them. He pronounced my name wrong but I had no doubt that 4 year old, he had my back!

I closed my eyes and my thoughts went to a friend of mine, in a suite, standing in that priesthood fraternity. His brothers hold up his baby, and their hand on his back as if to hold him up as well. I heard his voice trembling, overcome with emotion speaking the words of a beautiful blessing.
*sigh* alas, that was just a day dream but it felt real to me, I became emotional at the thought of such a wonderful experience and opportunity for him.

I think of all the men I know who have that power or should have that power. I know some phenomenal men. I know some shady men. I know some good men. Most claim this power of the priesthood. The Good thing about this power is that it mostly works on YOUR faith in God. That means, I don't need to get a priesthood blessing from the Prophet, or an Apostle or a bishop. I can get it from my next door neighbor, or my brother or my best friend or even the guy sitting next to me at work, because the power is the same. But I'm finding it's very important to encourage the men around us to be worthy of it, and to hold true to standards of blessings of having that power.
"Don't get caught without it!"
We used to tell the guys in college. Because
I remember a time in college when I was hurt ...Let's just say there was a lot of blood involved and I ended up in the E.R. I asked one of the guys who went with me if he could give me a blessing. He couldn't. He was ashamed. I was upset I put him in a situation that was embarrassing for him. My asking just did not make the night any better for either one of us. This was a ward brother of mine who was not in great standing to practice his priesthood power. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't have my back. Toward the end of the school year, he and I went out hiking and he talked about that day in the E. R. He thanked me for asking him that "dreaded question."

"I felt so horrible that I couldn't give you what you needed that day. And I began to think of others I cared about, that I should be prepared and worth to administer to, and how disappointing it was that I was not in a worthy position to act in the name of God if needed. I decided that Day I never wanted to experience that kind of shame again. So thank you."

WOW! Told ya that was an AWESOME FRATERNITY to belong to.

Back to my visual.... The circle of brethren together, hands on the shoulders. I can't think of anything that says "I got your back" more than that.

We should never be shy, ashamed or hesitant to expect our priesthood holders to perform those duties we need. We should hold them accountable to be worthy to hold that power which they claim. We should lovingly encourage them to be worthy of it, never holding it over their heads or rubbing it in their faces or demeaning them if they are not in a position to perform that power.
To all my Brothers out there who "Have my back..." and the backs of all those around you, I say THANK YOU.
And to those who have my back in other ways, I say THANK YOU.
Know that I will always try to have your back as well.

Oh, Mercy Mercy Me....

Such were the Lyics from Marvin Gaye's song "Mercy Mercy Me...!" And that brother can sing a song, can't he?

Mercy has been the theme of the year I think. In the book "Peacegivers" it mentions how is it that most demand mercy for ourselves and demand justice for others. I believe it talks of Jonah and the city of Ninevah. Go read the story its only 4 short chapters: 3 pages.
Summary:
Jonah is sent to call Nineveh to repentance—He flees on a ship, is cast into the sea, and is swallowed by a great fish.
Jonah prays to the Lord, and the fish vomits him out on dry ground.
Jonah prophesies the downfall of Nineveh—The people repent and the city is saved.
Jonah is displeased with the Lord for his mercy upon the people—The Lord rebukes him.

Jonah didn't like Ninevites, that's why he fleed. They were his enemys and the Lord was sending him behind enemy lines so to speak to save them.
As we think of our enemies it wouldn't be easy for us to approach them and try to make nicey nice with them. I would have a hard time, that's ALOT to ask. How many of us could do it?

Upon being swallowed by the whale of course he realized the error of his ways and ask the Lord for Mercy, which the Lord gave. The Lord told him if he went into Nineveh, preached the word and they did not convert he would destroyed. Nineveh. He went forth unto Nineveh, did his missionary work. I guess he didn't plan on them converting because he sat and waited on a hill for them to be destroyed. And was angry with the Lord for not destroying them even though they converted. He felt conversion or not their corruption trumped their conversion and the Lord should not have mercy on them. I believe the book of Jonah ends with the question:
" ...And should not I spare Nineveh...?"

I guess in my mind i hear the Lord saying... "Hold Up, Jonah...... you cried mercy unto me... and I spared you. Nineveh cried mercy unto me... but I shouldn't spare them...? Wassup with that?"

I'm taken back to the times where I cry mercy to Heavenly Father and then deny it to those who seek it from me. We want so much for justice to be served with we are offended, but we want mercy applied when we offend. Should not the Lord Spare Nineveh? How often we forget in our lives that we are Jonah as well as Nineveh?

Can I give forgiveness and mercy without receiving it? And do I have a right to expect it, if I have not given it? How can we give, that which we don't have?

Since the Lord sees fit to spare us, should we not see fit to spare one another?

I have been fortunate this year to receive more than my share of mercy and forgiveness. I have also created more than my share of situations where I've need to please mercy and forgiveness.

I am grateful for being shown such love in times of my wretchedness and I'm happy to extend the same.
In LDS terms I guess you can say: Because I have been forgiven much I too must give.
In ghetto trems: what goes around comes around
In traditional terms: Due unto others

As Portia says in Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice:

"The quality of mercy is not strained,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes:
… it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown;
His sceptre shows the force of temporal power, …
But mercy is above the sceptred sway;
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself.
(Act 4, sc. 1, lines 184–95.)"

FHE with ME!

This weeks Family Home Evening was really fun. I am pleased with the fact that talking about the scriptures or the Gospel is a fairly typical thing. She gets alot of fun things from her siminary classes and we'll go over it just like any of her school work or anything else deemed worthy of discussion. I'm glad she's comfortable enough with herself and in the Gospel that talking about some aspect of it is a regular daily thing, like talking about the weather, or sports or what happened at school today.



Today she brought home a puzzle. That's pretty much all I'm going to say about the puzzle because it's taken me 2 hours to do the thing. I *JUST* finished it. I don't feel so badly. She finished about 20 minutes before I did but she's been working on it off and on all day.



Anyway... here's the puzzle, enjoy. Let me know how you do on it :)

Bible Stories
There are 30 books of the bible in this paragraph. Can you find them? This is a most remarkable puzzle.
It was found by a gentleman in an air plane seat pocket on a flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu keeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much, he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing on his john boat. Another friend studied while playing his banjo. Elaine Taylor, a columnist friend, who was intrigued by it she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column Another friend judges the job of solving this puzzle so involving, she brews a cup of tea to help her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot. That’s a fact. Some people, however will find themselves in a jam, especially since the book names are not easily capitalized. Truthfully, from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or a scholar to see some of them at the worst. Research has shown that something in our genes is responsible for the difficulty we have in seeing the books in this paragraph. During a recent fund raising event, which featured this puzzle, the Alpha Delta Phi lemonade booth set a new record. The local paper, The Chronicle, surveyed over 200 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of the most difficult they had ever seen. As Daniel Humana humbly puts it, “The books are right there in plain view hidden from sight.” Those able to find all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have to be shown. One revelation that may help is that books like Timothy and Samuel may occur without their numbers. Also, keep in mind, that punctuation and spaces in the middle are normal. A chipper attitude would help you compete really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mad exodus; there really are 30 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in this paragraph waiting to be found. God Bless

God Is Trying to Tell me Something......

Now, I know why people stop going to church. It's because they feel guilty and that God is picking on them and they don't want the pressure.

Today was stake conference. I'd been not feeling particularly interested in Stake conference. I was pretty sure I wasn't going to go. I've been so disappointed in myself this week in somethings and absolutely thrilled in other things. I was just very mentally and emotionally tired.



When I went to bed I just planned on sleeping in and lounging for the day. I had been in the habit of considering stake conference a "free" Sunday. You know, where you don't really break the sabbath but you road trip or go to the mountains/canyons and just sort chill, or stay home and be lazy. I kept waking up...5:30, 7:43, 9:09. Church started at 10:am. I laid in bed til about 20 after and decided I should get up and go. I have come to recognize that when I don't want to be there the most, is when I need to stay home the least. I had this experience a few years back and the same eerie feeling was upon me again.



We arrived at the stake center 15 minutes early and the chapel was already filled so we sat back in the chairs. I waved and smiled at the different ward members and recognized some of the stake members as well.



The service began. The first talk was an OK talk and usually I would assume it would set the mood for the whole service. It didn't. Although it was a good talk it was hard for me to focus. I feared the whole meeting would be painfully boring. I was wrong. I spent a lot of time the last week in prayer and even fasted 3 of the 7 days last week.

I really wanted to be totally done away with some things that had been plaguing me for some time, and it had gotten to the point where I couldn't stand myself about it. I remember in a Sunday School class quite a while ago one of my favorite people, Brother Richard Craycroft.

We were talking about procrastinating on repenting and reactivating ourselves and blah blah blah. He said something to the fact that..

" Us stubborn people sometimes we have to allow ourselves to get to the lowest point. We have to be so disgusted with who we are that we just cannot live with ourselves one more minute in our present condition." I knew that point very well and had reached that point on a couple of issues.

I gone over my goals for the last 6 months and rated myself pretty harshly on my progress. I turned again to the April General Conference issue of the Ensign, the church magazine and turned to the talked that was ingrained in my mind and studied it once, again.
In my fasting and praying I had asked Heavenly Father to put before me those things he wanted me to learn most and to help me find a way to really learn those things I were struggling with and to teach me in a way that I could finally get it through my thick scull. It's funny to me that I would ask for Heavenly Father's help and then stay away from the most likely place(s) (stake conference) where I may receive that help.

I sat disappointed after the first talk and then a young return missionary got up and spoke. He talked about By knowing who we are and who we can become gives Satan less power over us.



"if Satan can convince us to forget who we are and what we can become then he has scored a victory."

" Look for and serve to the divine potential in everyone. Treat them not how they are, but who they can become."

I had used those exact words so many times myself while working with the youth and with their parents. My step mother had asked me at one time how come I'm the only one who could get along with my stepbrothers. I told her

"i treat them how they can become, now who they are. You have to look for that child of God within everyone and communicate to it"

WOW! I had forgotten these things. My own words. My own teachings smacking me back in the face. I had not done this lately at least not in my own life.

He also said "Our relationships and lives would be better if we look for the divine potential in ourselves and others. We ought to focus more on recognizing and finding help others to achieve their potential. "

In doing so we would not do anything to disrespect ourselves and others.



It was a great talk from the young return missionary. I was sad I had forgotten the implement the very things that I had counseled so many others to do. All the firesides I'd given and counseling sessions I'd had with many of the youth and their parents and been lost to me. (often times we are our own patients)

My forgetting had cost me. It had cost me dearly and was still costing me. I'm sick of it costing me.



The next speaker was a youth speaker. The first things out of her mouth was

"How you speak says much about who you are. You don't need to use language that would hurt someone Else's feelings, insult others, putting them down. We should always use positive language and try to stop negative language, even if it means holding our tongues because it will have a damaging effect on your relationship and could cause you sorrow."

Elder Jeffery R Holland's talk from April General Conference came quickly to mind. I knew that talk backwards and forwards. The quotes, the scriptures... everything. It is ingrained in my head.

And then she quoted the scripture that was also ingrained in my head... the same scripture Elder Holland used in his talk:



Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.



She challenged us to make the effort to be better. Invite the spirit to be with you to guide your words. I silently accepted the challenge. I had been working on it only to realize I still have a long way to go.



The next talk spoke about "who's drowning in life?' Who do you know who is drowning in life and could use as surfboard? I few people came to mind. I sort of felt as if I was in the riptides of life. Fighting to get out of the undertow so you can surface and catch that small breath to sustain life, only to get sucked back under again. He spoke of what we are doing to extend a surfboard to those we know of who are drowning in life.

"When we let go of anger, hurt, from whatever, whoever, whenever, we can have marvelous experiences of forgiveness. If we truly love our Heavenly Father we would love those around us in all we do and say. We should speak and show kindness, be slow to anger and willing to forgive and forget."

he quoted from Elder Bednar's talk about being offended:

" To be offended is a choice we make, it is not a condition."



A member of the stake presidency then spoke. He said something very profound:



"you may be right, I may be wrong, but if it separates us... we're both wrong."



He urged us to pray for forgiveness. And then pray to Heavenly Father to then teach you so you could know them for who they are. *ouch*



Yeah, that phrase stung: "pray for forgiveness and then pray to asked Heavenly Father to teach you so you can learn them for who they really are."



*ouch*



It hurts every time I hear it, read it, or say it.



He turned us to Alma chapter 61 and read to us parts of a letter from King Pahoran to Moroni. Moroni had written a venomous letter to Pahoran accusing him of abandoning him and his armies and finding joy in their afflictions and purposely with holding what was needed. Pahoran has been under the stress of his own people abandoning and rebelling against him. And when Pahoran wrote back to Moroni, he explained what was going on about the rebellion and other issues.

He then read to us the first part of vs 9:

"And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart."

He spoke of the kindness and forgiving capacity Judge Pahoran had for Moroni whom he loved.

Had Pahoran been quick to anger he undoubtably would have made the situation worse.

It was what he did next that caused the tears to flow:

He referenced the April conference and began to read the talk in which Elder Jeffery R. Holland gave. A warmth ran through me as I remembered those days last week I fasted

(I had asked Heavenly Father to put before me those things he wanted me to learn most and to help me find a way to really learn those things I were struggling with and to teach me in a way that I could finally get it through my thick scull.)

I closed my eyes and layed my head back as if praying to the ceiling and recited the words in whisper with the speaker:


"Paul put it candidly, but very hopefully. He said to all of us: "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but [only] that which is good . . . [and] edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
"And grieve not the holy Spirit of God. . . .
"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you. . . .
"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."


I couldn't believe it. Well, actually I could believe it. This stake conference was tailor made for my last week. I get it. I Get It. LORD I GET IT! I wanted to scream. I did feel differently this time. Because this time, my heart felt it. Although my head had heard the talk many times and knew the words, the right words to say and how to apply it, I was simply going through the motions. We can know something and it can have a surface effect. But until you feel it... really feel it in your heart, it will have temporary and surface results.
I know the if you really want something, you have to get hungry for it. You've got to want it, and you have to be intentional about it. Only then are you ready to receive.

Grandma always said... "Make sure you want what you ask for... because you just might get it."


Amen, Grandma.
I know that was her way of saying... "if you ask the Lord for help and intend on really, really accepting that help, then you have be in the correct placed to receive that help and to go through whatever it takes, to shake off that thing which is holding you back from that which you desire. If you are halted in the process and turned away.... then you really desire a different thing. Make sure your desires are true."

I accept the challenge, once again, to
Speak with the Tongue of Angels
Seek out the Child of God in each of us
Remember who I am and what I can become
Look for the Divine Potential in myself and others
Treat others not how they are but with the diving potential of who they can be.
Let go of anger, hurt, passed burdons.
Ask for forgiveness
Always forgive
Be slow to anger
Be quick to resolve
Speak more edifying.


Game on, wish me luck!

My Life Really IS Like a Corn Maze

http://www.kaydeezplace.blogspot.com/

That link is from my main blog about a really fun time this weekend. I spent Saturday night running through a corn maze and it was awesome.

Some events happened just before the outing and it was quite upsetting to me. I pushed them to the back of my mind for the evening and let the good times roll. Because I knew the next day, Sunday, would be hard to handle when reality hit.

I got home about midnight Saturday night. I was cold, wet, tired and achy. The last 4 hours had been so awesome. SO AWESOME and filled with so much laughter and love and just good old healthy fun! The 40 minute drive home gave my mind time to settle down and think of the earlier events. Tears began to roll down my face. I got home and jumped right into bed hoping sleep would come. We were to take a road trip to Idaho and would be leaving in just few hours. It had been a weird night. I Just lay in bed and sleep never came. Hour after hour after hour I just laid there thinking of trying to figure out how to stop thinking.

Some where around 7:am I dozed off. When I stirred, the clock said 7:43. I spent most of the night going over the passed few years in my head: Mistakes I've made, things I shoulda, woulda, coulda done and didn't do. I had let an ocean of things built up over the years and the damn was no longer holding them back. I had to open the gates or drown. I could not live another day with all of this inside of me. These things had been heavy on my mind for a couple of weeks and I couldn't live another day feeling this way.
I wanted to talk things out but that didn't work. As a matter of fact trying to talk went drastically wrong and was getting worse. So I removed myself from the equation.

I needed to purge, So I started writing. I wrote for 3 and half hours straight. When I finished I had before me 22 pages front and back of doubts, mistrust and insecurities. TWENTY TWO PAGES!
Shame on me for holding so much inside and letting it build up to a point where I couldn't control how it was expressed.

For some reason my mind went back to the night before... in the corn maze.

We entered at our own risk. It was muddy, slippery, wet, cold and yucky and as a group we were slipping and sliding all over the place. It was fun and exciting with it's elements of dangers. Some things I didn't like right off but felt I could handle things and it would be alright. Sometimes when we slipped someone in our group would hold their hands out to catch each other. And other times when we felt like we were going down, we would drop our hand and let the other person stumble around on their own. Sometimes it was because we knew they could recover and it would build their confidence. Other times it was for selfish reasons; We let go because we were too concerned about protecting ourselves and looking bad from falling, letting the other person fall and look bad instead.

The mud was really thick and heavy. As we walked it accumulated on our shoes and our steps became slow and heavy slowing down our progress. From time to time our progress would literally stop. The mud would hold our shoes glued to the ground and we could not lift our legs to walk until we cleaned it off. There were times when the accumulation of mud was so heavy that the weight of gravity would cause it to drop off. Other times when we walked you could feel heavy drop of mud on the back of your leg from its accumulation of each footstep. And sometimes the mud would be so strong that you would lift up your foot, but your shoe would stay stuck the ground.

Although there was great fun through out the night, eventually the simple process of walking became a chore. Eventually we grew tired and weary. We found ourselves walking and progressing for what felt like hours only to end up where we were 20 minutes before. Then we'd try a different direction and still end up in the same place we were an additional 20 minutes later. Frustration sets in and you kick into survival mode. Sometimes you're in survival mode for minutes and sometimes you're in survival mode for years. Although we had a map to guide us around the maze, when we did pull it out, we were lost and had no idea where we were. Following the map from the beginning and consulting it often would have kept us on track.

From time to time we would see an employee walking around making sure all things were OK within the maze. When we were having fun and all was well, we disregarded them and barely acknowledge them. But when we were finally cold, tired, hungry and in need of help we were happy to pay them attention and readily asked for their immediate assistance. And they were eager and happy to guide us to our desired destination.

Over the last few years my life has felt like that corn maze.

I willingly make choices that are fun, exciting, with it's elements of danger and I think I can handle it. These situations can be such that it leads me to a shaky, slippery foundation that may often cause me to fall. And while those around me waiver or succumb to the things that I may not typically indulge sometimes we catch each other, and other times we don't while trying to protect ourselves from hurt or embarrassment.

Our journey most always will accumulate mud and muck and other garbage and baggage that will slow us down and if we continued to ignore it and don't clean it up or clear it out, it can halt our progress. If we don't do that which is needed to keep the mud off we can remain stuck.

By not following the maps or guidelines or council we have readily available through prayer, scripture reading, and other daily maintenance type things, we may find ourselves running in circles into the same unresolved issues time after time after time.

When things are fun and happy and going well, we don't pay too much attention to those who are placed here to aide us.

It is only when we finally are so tired, frustrated, angry, hurt and weary and realize that our effort alone are not enough to take us from this place we've ventured into that we humble our selves, and ask the one who can guide us, and sometimes carry us out of our mess to stable, dry ground.

By letting the mud accumulate over the years and not taking the proper steps needed to cleanse it away I have been trudging in unresolved paths. In doing so my mud has effected not only myself but those around me, those close to me. It's been a difficult lesson for me to learn. At the risk of losing some precious treasures, I hope it is truly learned.

My friends:
Use good judgement.
Uplift yourself and be considerate, kind and uplifting to others.
Clean up your mud before it accumulates, weighs you down and halts your progression.
Use your maps and other instructions so you don't get frustrated and desperate on the path.
Know where and who your guides are and stay close to them, have faith in them.


Oh... and NEVER LEAVE YOUR WING MAN
most important.... Heavenly Father is your wing man.

Who'd Uh Thunk II

To my great suprize, this has been a really fun evening

It's been a while since I've gone to the Ward Singles Family home evening. I figure it doesn't make much since for me to leave my daughter and have FHE with the singles. So I usually don't go. But Since my daughter had to work today, I went. I went because I knew Brother Vernon and Vance Law would be speaking, along with Brother Robby Bosco and I had some business to take care of with him.

FHE was awesome. I feel Spiritually spoiled. I thought I was getting 3 sports legends. I got 5 It was so great to hear these men, my brothers in the ward, stake and gospel each bear testimony of Jesus Christ.

We started in typical mormon fashion, opening song and prayer.

Cept we had no one to play the piano. So Brother Vance Law jumps up and grabs the childrens Primary book and starts playing the opening hymn. And since we had no chorister, his father Brother Vernon Law jumps up and calls to his son... "is it in 4/4 time?"

"yes, it is!"

calls back Brother Vance Law.

And Brother Vernon Law lead us in the singing of

"I am A Child Of God!'

It only got better from there!

So I reconciled with Brother Robby Bosco. No longer an enemy to the Wolverine. He spoke of how he came to BYU a non member strictly to play football because of their passing game. And converted at the age of 19. Then he gave great heartfilled testimony of Jesus Christ and his love for the Gospel and the church. He talked about how BYU became very special to him and even before he was baptised he felt a spirit that he much wanted to be part of. And how he was influenced by his roomates and those around him by their good examples.

Brother Tom Holmoe was a suprize! I didn't know he would be there. Brother Holmoe another convert to the church. Exressed how his mother's family was really mormon and his father's family was really not. He spoke of how when he went to BYU he was part of the wrong crowd but was soon drawn to the LDS Crowd. Missionaries found him tracking in the dorms. What's up with that? He also let his family and friends keep him from doing what he knew was right. He said it took him 6 years after he graduated BYU to become a member because he was so stubborn. During those 6 years he wondered and had dreams of what would happen if he died... and came face to face with the Father, and the father said to him

"Tom, you knew the truth, what happened?"

He felt any excuse he gave the Lord wouldn't be good enough so he couldnt take it anymore and joined. He mentioned he's never had any regrets and never let any thing or any one be the excuse of him not being true to that decision.

Brother Devin Durrant was my other suprize! I didn't know he would be there either.
Brother Durrant made me cry. He started out with the scripture:

"now is the time to prepare to meet God."
He spoke of a time when he was away at basketball camp and how is roomate was a big 6'7 basketball player. He struggled with telling this NBA roomated that he says his prayers at night. So he decided to just be flat out about it. He didn't want to disappoint the Lord and he wanted to be a good example as well. So he let his roomate know that he kneels by his bed at night and says his prayers. His roomate, a non member was cool with that. He mentioned how a few days into training camp he was on the elevator with his roomate and a bunch of other well known high profile NBA who were speaking vulgarities and profanity. His roomate said... "hey, dont use that language around my friend & roomate here and don't use it around me. I hope you aren't using that kind of language when "THE MAN" comes." Brother Durrant and his roomate stepped out of the elevator and again his roomated stated to the others... " I HOPE you aren't using that language when "The Man comes." The Man, being Jesus Christ. Brother Durrant said, his roomate took the opportunity to stand as a witness of God regardless of where he was, when it was, who he was around and what he was doing. It was a testimony to him to do the same. His roomate recognized that Jesus Christ would come again. And reminded him that sometimes we looked to be the example and are taught by examples around us as well.

Brother Vance Law was up to bat next. It was his home that FHE was held. He gave props to his Mother Vanita and Father Vernon. He spoke of how his father paved the way and set the example, the standard of what should be expected by LDS athletes. He spoke of how some of his first team mates on the pittsburg Pirates team were also his father's team mates. They would check up on him, make sure he was keeping his own standards. They held him accountable to be who he claimed to be. Now as a coach at BYU he feels it's important that each of the young me coaches knows his love for the Gospel and Testimony of Jesus Christ.

"It is important for them to know that my standards don't change from a winning moment to a heated argument with tempers flaring"

That made a great impact on me. How often do we release our standard in the heat of a highly emotional situation? Our standards should be unwaivering in any situation.

Brother Vernon Law was clean up batter for the night. He spoke of how Bing Crosby got him into Major league baseball! And how he made a decision that he simply made a decision to hold up his standards. It meant not getting the high profile public speaking and good paying jobs, however he did great missionary work in giving talks and speaches to different church groups and small profile engagements. It didn't matter to him. "What I wanted most was to be a good example of what the church was about." He said Philidelphia was a big Catholic City and about 4 times a year they'd let all the catholic sisters into the game for free. When asked if that rattled him he said.. "no, all those catholic sisters dressed in black with their white habits on just looked like a bunch of missionaries to this mormon boy." People would ask him about his religion and he explained being a Deacon at the age of twelve, a teacher at the age of 14 and preist at the age of 18 and an elder at the age of 18. he said.. "they didn't know about being teachers, preist and elders, but they knew what a deacon was, so they nick named me Deacon!"

The theme for the evening, at least in my eyes was summed up by something the young women focus on each week.... "we will stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places...!" No matter who we are and what our lives look like.

(Devin Durrant, Tom Holmoe, Robby Bosco, Vernon Law, Vance Law)

Each of these brother's bore strong testimony of the importance of being people of integrity, and living up to the standards we claim to believe. For these men it was as easy as just making the decision to do just that. Even in times when it may have not been easy, they were great examples to all around them... and they still are. Their lives and where their lives took them, was not easy to stay true to the standards we claim to live, but they are living testimonies that we can be true to our baptismal and temple covenants, no matter the circumstance or place.

I was in awe of the spiritual strength in the room as each man teared up while bearing such strong witness. Legends in their own way. All my brothers in the gospel. And all of them within 1/2 of mile of where I lay my head to rest. There is great peace in knowing I'm in good company in my ward and stake community

Tom Holmoe, Vance Law, Me, Vernon Law, Robbie Bosco

Sister Law and her son Vance. She was my Visiting teacher my first 2.5 years in this ward. I miss her monthly visits. We share the same birthday and I call her "twin!"

I ended my last blog with the question : I wonder, do you think he'll [Robby Bosco] autograph my Michigan Wolverine sweatshirt?

Yup! He would :)

(as well as a BYU T-shirt for my daughter who sent off her first college application today to BYU)

Who'd Uh Thunk?

If someone would have told me, a little black girl from Battle Creek Michigan, that I would be hanging out with some well known LDS people as an Adult, I woulda called them a liar.

Growing up the only famous LDS people I knew were the Osmonds. And I wasn't really into them like the other kids in my Primary or Young women's class. I was into the Jackson 5. They all talked about growing up and moving to some place called Provo. I always thought I would grow up and move to Detroit or Chicago or even New York,some place close to home like that. It wasn't until my Junior Year in High School in 1984 that I really started paying attention to Mormon's other than the ones in my local ward. Shoot I thought the coolest mormons were the Missionaries we used to hang out with. They talked funny, had the weirdest slang but man did they love coming to our house for dinner on Thursday nights and desserts on Sunday nights.
One crazy night back in 1984 I was watching a football game with my family. My older brother and I were waiting to go to the late night movies. We called them "Cheap flix" back then cuz it was only a buck to get in and the movies would start anywhere from 10pm- Midnight.

My team, Michigan, was playing BYU. I didn't realize then it was THE GAME to be watching that year. I liked football, even played some football but didn't realize it was The National Championship game. Besides I was more interested in the movie we were going to see in a few minutes. I watched and figured I didn't really care who would win. It's a win-win situation for me, I'd either win as a Mormon or win as a Michigander. I guess I felt itt would be much sweeter win as a Michigander. What I saw of the came was complete craziness. I remember the BYU Quarter back getting injured, yet making play after play after play. His name, Robby Bosco. Well my thoughts were... "poor guy! Take him out, it's a losing battle." I never saw the whole game because we left for the movie. Got home really late and found out the next morning that the Mormon's won the national championship. BUMMER! But then a part of me secretly was excited to really be a mormon. My heart felt betrayed. Was my Loyalty to the Maize and Blue so weak? Naw.... I still love watching Michigan Wolverines play football. But the Bosco is an enemy to Michigan.

Cut to 23 years later.... Which would be approximately TODAY!

I'm the only one from my primary/ young women's class that lives in Provo. Well the only one that I know of. I've been blessed to be in the company and shake the hands of several of our church leaders. I don't mean sitting in General Conference where there's 150,000. in the same room 100 yards away either. Being called by name by an Apostle is an really cool experience that one, such as myself, has really taken for granted.
I was sitting in Sacrament today and it was fast and testimony meeting. It was a happy day. My ward is Phenominal. The bishop once told me when I was going through a hard time " Come to church and just let the ward family love you, that is the purpose of a ward." I wish every ward would grasp that concept because I am SO in love with my ward that it stopped me from moving last spring.

Anyway... Im sitting in Sacrament and I'm excited. You see I was recently called to teach the 18 year olds in Sunday School. Yeah, the senior Boys and girls. Tough crowd? Not really. It's a pretty fun class. I promised them 2 weeks ago we could play testimony bingo! They had no concept so I explained it to them and they got a kick out of it. Well i handed out the bingo sheets the end of Sunday school and we headed to Sacrament meeting. Giddy was I! I had some extra bingo cards so I passed them out to some of my Young Women I used to teach in my last calling and even a few of the parents joined in. It was a real natural high I could hardly keep from giggling. We began to sing the opening song and I looked around at my fellow bingo players with anticipation. Everyone of us like a 3 year old wiggling and anxious to get on with things.
The go through the typical: opening song, opening prayer, announcements, baby blessing and on with the meeting. During announcements I'm marking my "free space" on my bingo card and I hear a word that stops me in my tracks... "BOSCO." Ok so I've known for some time that "Brother Bosco" was in my stake. I ditched out on a high priest annual steak dinner with "Bosco." I just had other things to do or something.

Anyway... it appears that the older singles are having family home evening with "Bosco." Hmmmm. Also in that FHE will be Vernon and Vince Law, both Major League Baseball players. Well, Brother Law, I know and know of! His wife was my visiting teacher until a few months ago. I LOVE SISTER LAW! AND we share the same birthday. This woman is special to me and invited Alieshia to come by anytime and consider her another Grandma.
Back to Bosco! I figures it's time for me to make my peace with "the Bosco.' He doesn't know it, but we've got some unfinished business to attend to at sunset tomorrow. My thoughts went back to those years of being a youth and all the smack talking my Young Women sister's did on getting in the UTAH LDS LOOP of things. I could have cared less back then about the UTAH LDS LOOP. But I guess in a way, I sort of find myself in it. Maybe my big toe, now and again. I sat in Sacrament meeting... just about forgetting my bingo game. I remember at one time my father mentioned how neat he thought it was that any of his kids were rubbing shoulders with General Authorities and other important LDS people. Who woulda thunk a black, LDS ,ball playing factory worker who couldn't even bless or baptis his own children would have those same children hold positions that allowed them to be in the good company of many influential and well known members of the church?
I never would have believed it! Shoot I always thought I would be too scared.... "they're men of God, they know my secrets and sins and can see all the wrong stuff I do and all my shortcomings." I used to think that all the time. In some cases I still do. But those I've met with and sat in meetings with and had lunch or dinner with have always been nothing but great men who laugh and joke and bring joy to the atmosphere I've even been around in their company.

My mind cuts back to Relief Society this morning... walking in together with Sister Law. Not the wife of "the preacher or Deacon Law" as others know him, just Sister Law to me, dear sweet lady who captured my heart from day 1. Then my mind races to thoughts of Brother Macy. He plays Joseph Smith Sr in "Praise to the Man" and "The Restoration." He was also the main Character in " The Testiments" He played Helam, the father. Actually he's in ALOT of church films especially some of the older one's. I love Brother Macy. I just can't sit next to him in sunday school anymore, or Sacrament. We laugh and joke too much. It can be disruptive to those around us. Just this summer we're discussing the movie "Transformers" in the hall before sunday school. He does a PERFECT Optimus Prime impersonation. He and I am crackin up.... while a couple of the older sister in the ward give us crusties for being so loud and light minded in our Father's house. Sad thing is... when I see him in these movies..... I see the man I sit with in church and bust out laughing and some inappropriate times. He's a great actor. My mother flipped the freak out when she found out "the man in testiments" is in my ward. Maybe I'll suprize her for Christmas and give her an Autographed copy of "The Testiments."

And speaking of testiments.... back to Testimony Bingo. Well I didn't win. One of the Beehive girls I gave a card to won. I was sad until the couple sitting behind me tapped me on the shoulder after closing prayer and said... "I totally tapped my husband on the shoulder during the meeting and said... Honey, they're playing testimony bingo!" I smiled and told her.. "well I have extra cards for next fast Sunday." She admitted.. "we have some cards actually but would love to play next time!" My heart lifted. Upon exiting I ran into the Relief Society President. She and the rest of her crew came and visited me last week. Fun meeting with them in my home. They're so funny and uplifting to be around. We talked about the bingo game then. I told her I didn't win and she said..
"how could you NOT win, you had all the classic phrases?"
"well they sort of danced around the phrases and didn't say them completely" I said with a pout.
She said... "hey, what do you get if you win?" I said... "a chocolate bar." "Oh! I'm so in next fast Sunday."
Again, I laughed. And started my way out of the building. Then I saw the flyer for FHE tomorrow.
"OH YEAH! BOSCO!"
*SIGH*
Tomorrow, I will have a little chat with Brother Robby Bosco about that National Championship thing back in 84. I wonder, do you think he'll autograph my Michigan Wolverine sweatshirt?

A- HA!

A couple of my girlfriends and I were discussing men the other day. The poor guys in their lives were totally being ripped and shredded apart. It brought me to a few memories in the dark dusty cobwebbed halls of my mind that I hadn't ventured down in a while.

Somewhere along the way woman has forgotten we are to stand next to men, even when they aren't perfect just as we want them to do when we are perfect. This doesn't mean hang around if you feel you're being abused, or neglected but it does mean become still and recognize progress. We all have short comings we can support each other through and to be a support when both parties are interested in and working towards shared progressive goals. And I don't even mean that in a spousal relationship. It pertains to any relationship really.



" I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers, an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey."
- Mark Twain's Autobiography; Mark Twain in Eruption

I guess this opinion is going to be a foolish opinion mentioned about. I'm ok with that. Just send me bananas.


Men feel free to chime in.

God Made woman to be connected to man. God created woman as a help mate, a partner for man. Women have an intense desire to fit into a man's life. Woman don't like to admit it. We can't explain it, We want him to be more like us. HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE US. He's not supposed to think like us. This sometimes angers and frustrates woman.
A good man will stay when a woman gets mad and goes off.
The average man will back up and close down. A Good man, he wont back up. He won't back down. It hurts woman to hear it and see it when this happens. Man only has 2 choices: To respond, or not to respond. When a man does speak it feels assaulting and insulting and is usually not what woman wants to hear. A good man is not controlled by woman's emotional episodes or sexuality. HE WILL GIVE YOU A HARD TIME ABOUT THE RIGHT THING and be quick to recognize and take care of the wrong thing. A good man's pride will not impair him to be humble and DO the right things. And all this he will do in love and respect, not anger and unrighteous dominion.
Man is not simple, he's simplistic. A real man rises to challenges, is a weight bearer. He gets stronger with stress and weight put on him. God made him to be a weight bearer. He may struggle, he may fall but a real man will rise up and become stronger today because of the weight he carried yesterday. A man must be able to be many things to many people. So Woman, let the man be the Man. Do not try to turn him into a woman. Any man you can convert to the language of your girlfriends is not your man, he then becomes another girlfriend.


And this is what I remembered about man this year.