Saturday, September 13, 2008

Shame On ME!

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned"

Yeah, I know, wrong Church. I'm ashamed to say I haven't been to Church in over a month . I was on vacation for 3 weeks and the week before I went on vacation I was out of town taking my Child to college. But you know what? NO EXCUSES. I could have gone had I made the effort. I chose not to and now my SOUL is crying out. Oh don't get me wrong, I had my scriptures with me and read them and prayed. Was it daily...? Naw.... it wasn't. But I can tell a huge difference. My intuition is pretty good. I have good instincts. However the last 3 weeks, I feel it's all but escaped me. Now before I blame it on anything or anyone I have to take into account that I and I alone did not do the spiritual maintenance needed on a daily basis. I did not take that time each day to Connect with my Father in heaven and it has cost me dearly. I think the most praying done was the blessing of meals. Sad, I know. Props for blessing the food though.

How can I profess to be a woman of God and not take the time at the start and end of each day to check in with the Lord? How can I profess to be a woman of God and not take the time to read his word. I read books, watched TV, dabbled on the computer some, but I didn't take enough time to even pick up the Scriptures as much as I should have. *sigh*
Yeah, I know, I've disappointed myself. And now I'm feeling a spiritual funk.

So, it's back to basic training for me. You know making a point of doing those little things that we don't think will matter. Cuz they DO matter.
What I love most about the fellowship of the Lord and that he will meet you where you are as long as you make an honest and humble effort. So if it's back to the drawing board for some of us, he'll be there with the chalk in hand. I'm not that far gone folks but yeah, I am in need of spiritual repair and upliftment. I'm blessed because I know how to call down what I need and where to gather with those who praise and worship in his name.
I'm grateful for the Love our Heavenly Father extends to us at our request even in times of OUR absence.


S'mee said...

I love your honesty, your thought process and your continual search and striving. You are an amazing teacher!

ShaBANG said...

yeah, it's not always easy to admit and acknowledge shortcomings. However in doing so I've learned a great deal more and I welcome the lessons from it.

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog a few days ago. It's great! I am not a Mormon, and I would like to ask you some questions about it, if you have time to email me privately. My email is Thanks so much.


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