Much to my Surprize....

This page has surpassed my other blog pages and has become my Popular Main Page! I've been getting emails from people all over the world about my "Journal of a Black Mormon girl" and I am pleased about that.
Some of you in our email discussions have even admitted to the ignorance of our religion and have come off impressed. If I had a part in that, I'm humbled and grateful.

Some of you insist on picking at scabs. You know each religion has scabs. If you choose to dable in past bacteria's that time, and education are trying to heal, you deserve the ache that picking scabs will bring.

I don't say that to hide from the passed mistakes and judgements of man... because all man has and will have them as long as they are alive. Men of God will make mistakes and use bad judgement at times... because they are MAN. There are numerous accounts of it in all the scriptures we have. And God, in his infinate wisdom always provides a way to correct and compensate for it. Man cannot Destroy his kingdom, his work will go forth.

I love that saying... All Lucifer needs is for good men to do nothing in order for him to succeed.
So if you're the type to go to work, go home, mind your business and not really do anything except say.. "thank you Jesus" once in a while, at least to me, that's the same as no doing anything.
What do people think Jesus meant when he said... "feed my sheep?" He meant s whole multitude of things. Something are more challenging and diffucult than others yet some things are soo soo easy and almost effortless.

I live in a place where, if someone is moving ... people will run out of their own homes to help unload or load, while others will drop off a meal or cool drinks to help those who are able to do more. Someone noticed our hedges were growing passed the windows and since they were doing their own, they did ours as well.

One of the ladies noticed me walking with my knee brace on and came to see if she could get anything for me when she ran to the store later that evening.

I am one of the sheep and I'm being well fed.


The other day while I was out I stopped to let a gentleman cross in front of me. He was Scowling! I smiled and yelled out the window... "hey, what you looking all mad about?" He looked at me and said... "I didn't even notice!" He smiled, turned and then started whistling on his way. It wasn't a big thing, but I'd like to think I somehow fed that sheep.

My mind echo's the words of my mother quite often: "If you see something that needs to be done or if you can help out another, you should do it."

Is it suprising that my Grandmother, her mom would often say... "the only hands the Lord has are yours"

When I think of one of my favorite scriptures in John: Greater love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for a friend.
So many of us think it means dying for someone. Well that may be true to a point. I believe this to mean taking the time out to serve. Somehow when I'm serving and helping other people, my own issues aren't so bad and I often find the solutions through serving others. It allows me to feed some sheep and it aides my own healing. It helps to fill voids. So many times we look ourside ourselves to fill voids and this can be dangerous. Some do it with food, others music, some with gaming, porn, working too much, boasting, cleaning, cooking. Some read, do yard work, some go out for long walks or drives. As you can see I've mentioned some good ways and bad ways to fill voids. All should be done in moderation. From My experience the things I do that fill my voids more completely and last the longest are when I'm doing something to uplift someone else. If uplifts me as well if not more. I also noticed, when Im selfish my life quickly become hell. I'm not saying be so giving that I put my own well being or the wellbeing of my family in danger. The best way to take care of others is to take care of yourself as well so you are in a position to help others and know that the Lord will continue to bless you as you continue to bless others.

Thank you, for making this my number one blog :)

To Everything There is a Season

... and a time for every purpose under heaven.
(Ecclesiastes 3:2)

Today was to be my wedding day. Less than 3 months ago the plan was to put on the pretty dress, tiara and veil and "jump the broom."

Instead I'm sitting down, and before me are 2 empy bottles of coors bottles and a computer. Yeah, I emptied them myself.

I'm thinking back over the events of the summer: Wedding plans, resigning from a job, therapy, putting daughter in college, 3 week vacation in the home town... there's been alot of heavy life changes going on. With that has been life altering circumstances that have imposed themselves upon what could have been (and are to a point) some exciting times.

Lost my phone and some kind guy found it, called the Contact labled "home" so I was able to get that back.

Got up this morning, spent a couple hours at the dentist office with my daughter. Got her car inspected and registered for another year. Did some shopping and during that time I found myself staring a six pack of long necked bottles of Coors. I bought them along with some other things.

One might say that I'm sad or depressed because of the expectations of this day and how it has turned out.
Not me. So far I'm quite pleased with how the day is going. I know that postponing the wedding was the right thing. (noticed I said postponing) there's a little curiosity as to how this wedding thing will play out in the future since it is only postponed. I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend in Michigan with my family and his family, it was a much needed thing. I've got a few job prospects that I'll be delving into next week and as for the therapy I'm in the last stages needed before I'll be released. Daughter is having an amazing time in college, she's down this weekend with some of her roomates.
I'm even planning one of my favorite dinners: Baked potatoes and Steaks, which are marinating in a not-so-secret recipe of coors, A-1 steak sauce, and ginger ale. YUMMY! :)

I'm confident that as I continue to work at doing the right things and being productive that things will fall into place and when they do, it will be "mo betta" than even I can contemplate.

I'm pretty patient, especially when I've decided to put things in the Lords hands because I know
he ALREADY has it all worked out. My job is to have faith, listen for that Holy Spirit of promise and wait for his direction. So when that time and season comes, I can go forward in peace.

In the mean time, I get steak for dinner, Pie for dessert and a movie! Sounds good to me :)

Shame On ME!

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned"

Yeah, I know, wrong Church. I'm ashamed to say I haven't been to Church in over a month . I was on vacation for 3 weeks and the week before I went on vacation I was out of town taking my Child to college. But you know what? NO EXCUSES. I could have gone had I made the effort. I chose not to and now my SOUL is crying out. Oh don't get me wrong, I had my scriptures with me and read them and prayed. Was it daily...? Naw.... it wasn't. But I can tell a huge difference. My intuition is pretty good. I have good instincts. However the last 3 weeks, I feel it's all but escaped me. Now before I blame it on anything or anyone I have to take into account that I and I alone did not do the spiritual maintenance needed on a daily basis. I did not take that time each day to Connect with my Father in heaven and it has cost me dearly. I think the most praying done was the blessing of meals. Sad, I know. Props for blessing the food though.

How can I profess to be a woman of God and not take the time at the start and end of each day to check in with the Lord? How can I profess to be a woman of God and not take the time to read his word. I read books, watched TV, dabbled on the computer some, but I didn't take enough time to even pick up the Scriptures as much as I should have. *sigh*
Yeah, I know, I've disappointed myself. And now I'm feeling a spiritual funk.

So, it's back to basic training for me. You know making a point of doing those little things that we don't think will matter. Cuz they DO matter.
What I love most about the fellowship of the Lord and that he will meet you where you are as long as you make an honest and humble effort. So if it's back to the drawing board for some of us, he'll be there with the chalk in hand. I'm not that far gone folks but yeah, I am in need of spiritual repair and upliftment. I'm blessed because I know how to call down what I need and where to gather with those who praise and worship in his name.
I'm grateful for the Love our Heavenly Father extends to us at our request even in times of OUR absence.