Elder Joseph B, Wirthin

I just finished watching the funeral for Elder Joseph B Wirthlin. What I remember most of him was watching him in the April 2008 General Conference as his voice and body began to shake during his talk and Elder Russell M. Nelson stood by his side like a diligent servant ready to catch him if he fell.
I'm saddened that I am not as familiar with him as maybe I ought to be. I would like to share with you a General Conference Talk of his that was shared with me about 2 years ago. It was shared with me by a friend who was struggling with the death of his mother as well as other struggles.
I have turned to this talk many times in the last couple years for comfort and peace.
It is in his honor that I share it in hopes that it may do some good to anyone who is looking for comfort and peace as well.
I've included the sound link at the bottom of the page for those who would rather hear it, than read it.

Because of the life and eternal sacrifice of the Savior of the world, we will be reunited with those we have cherished.
I am grateful to be with you today and to draw strength from your testimonies. More than words can express, I am grateful for your kind words of support, your expressions of love, and your prayers.
Today I would like to indulge in a few personal memories.
I was born of goodly parents. From my father, Joseph L. Wirthlin, I learned the values of hard work and compassion. He was bishop of our ward during the Great Depression. He possessed a genuine concern for those in distress. He reached out to those in need not because it was his duty but because it was his sincere desire.
He tirelessly cared for and blessed the lives of many who suffered. In my mind, he was an ideal bishop.
Those who knew my father knew how active he was. Someone once told me that he could do the work of three men. He rarely slowed down. In 1938 he was operating a successful business when he received a call from the President of the Church, Heber J. Grant.
President Grant told him they were reorganizing the Presiding Bishopric that day and wanted my father to serve as counselor to LeGrand Richards. This caught my father by surprise, and he asked if he could pray about it first.
President Grant said, "Brother Wirthlin, there are only 30 minutes before the next session of conference, and I want to have some rest. What do you say?"
Of course, my father said yes. He served 23 years, 9 of them as Presiding Bishop of the Church.
My father was 69 years old when he passed away. I happened to be with him when he suddenly collapsed. Soon after, he was gone.
I often think about my father. I miss him.
My mother, Madeline Bitner, was another great influence in my life. In her youth she was a fine athlete and a champion sprinter. She was always kind and loving, but her pace was exhausting. Often she would say, "Hurry up." And when she did, we picked up the pace. Perhaps that was one of the reasons I had quick acceleration when I played football.
My mother had great expectations for her children and expected the best from them. I can still remember her saying, "Don't be a scrub. You must do better." Scrub was her word for someone who was lazy and not living up to his potential.
My mother passed away when she was 87 years old, and I think about her often and miss her more than I can say.
My younger sister Judith was an author, composer, and educator. She loved many things, including the gospel, music, and archaeology. Judith's birthday was a few days before mine. Every year I would give her a crisp one-dollar bill as my birthday present to her. Three days later she would give me 50 cents as her birthday present to me.
Judith passed away a few years ago. I miss her and think of her often.
And that brings me to my wife, Elisa. I remember the first time I met her. As a favor to a friend, I had gone to her home to pick up her sister, Frances. Elisa opened the door, and at least for me, it was love at first sight.
I think she must have felt something too, for the first words I ever remember her saying were, "I knew who you was."
Elisa was an English major.
To this day I still cherish those five words as some of the most beautiful in human language.
She loved to play tennis and had a lightning serve. I tried to play tennis with her, but I finally quit after coming to the realization that I couldn't hit what I couldn't see.
She was my strength and my joy. Because of her, I am a better man, husband, and father. We married, had eight children, and walked together through 65 years of life.
I owe more to my wife than I can possibly express. I don't know if there ever was a perfect marriage, but, from my perspective, I think ours was.
When President Hinckley spoke at Sister Wirthlin's funeral, he said that it is a devastating, consuming thing to lose someone you love. It gnaws at your soul.
He was right. As Elisa was my greatest joy, now her passing is my greatest sorrow.
In the lonely hours I have spent a great deal of time thinking about eternal things. I have contemplated the comforting doctrines of eternal life.
During my life I have heard many sermons on the Resurrection. Like you, I can recite the events of that first Easter Sunday. I have marked in my scriptures passages regarding the Resurrection and have close at hand many of the key statements uttered by latter-day prophets on this subject.
We know what the Resurrection is—the reuniting of the spirit and body in its perfect form.1
President Joseph F. Smith said "that those from whom we have to part here, we will meet again and see as they are. We will meet the same identical being that we associated with here in the flesh."2
President Spencer W. Kimball amplified this when he said, "I am sure that if we can imagine ourselves at our very best, physically, mentally, spiritually, that is the way we will come back."3
When we are resurrected, "this mortal body is raised to an immortal body. . . . [We] can die no more."4
Can you imagine that? Life at our prime? Never sick, never in pain, never burdened by the ills that so often beset us in mortality?
The Resurrection is at the core of our beliefs as Christians. Without it, our faith is meaningless. The Apostle Paul said, "If Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, and [our] faith is also vain."5
In all the history of the world there have been many great and wise souls, many of whom claimed special knowledge of God. But when the Savior rose from the tomb, He did something no one had ever done. He did something no one else could do. He broke the bonds of death, not only for Himself but for all who have ever lived—the just and the unjust.6
When Christ rose from the grave, becoming the firstfruits of the Resurrection, He made that gift available to all. And with that sublime act, He softened the devastating, consuming sorrow that gnaws at the souls of those who have lost precious loved ones.
I think of how dark that Friday was when Christ was lifted up on the cross.
On that terrible Friday the earth shook and grew dark. Frightful storms lashed at the earth.
Those evil men who sought His life rejoiced. Now that Jesus was no more, surely those who followed Him would disperse. On that day they stood triumphant.
On that day the veil of the temple was rent in twain.
Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of Jesus, were both overcome with grief and despair. The superb man they had loved and honored hung lifeless upon the cross.
On that Friday the Apostles were devastated. Jesus, their Savior—the man who had walked on water and raised the dead—was Himself at the mercy of wicked men. They watched helplessly as He was overcome by His enemies.
On that Friday the Savior of mankind was humiliated and bruised, abused and reviled.
It was a Friday filled with devastating, consuming sorrow that gnawed at the souls of those who loved and honored the Son of God.
I think that of all the days since the beginning of this world's history, that Friday was the darkest.
But the doom of that day did not endure.
The despair did not linger because on Sunday, the resurrected Lord burst the bonds of death. He ascended from the grave and appeared gloriously triumphant as the Savior of all mankind.
And in an instant the eyes that had been filled with ever-flowing tears dried. The lips that had whispered prayers of distress and grief now filled the air with wondrous praise, for Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, stood before them as the firstfruits of the Resurrection, the proof that death is merely the beginning of a new and wondrous existence.
Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.
But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.
No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.
I testify to you that the Resurrection is not a fable. We have the personal testimonies of those who saw Him. Thousands in the Old and New Worlds witnessed the risen Savior. They felt the wounds in His hands, feet, and side. They shed tears of unrestrained joy as they embraced Him.
After the Resurrection, the disciples became renewed. They traveled throughout the world proclaiming the glorious news of the gospel.
Had they chosen, they could have disappeared and returned to their former lives and occupations. In time, their association with Him would have been forgotten.
They could have denied the divinity of Christ. Yet they did not. In the face of danger, ridicule, and threat of death, they entered palaces, temples, and synagogues boldly proclaiming Jesus the Christ, the resurrected Son of the living God.
Many of them offered as a final testimony their own precious lives. They died as martyrs, the testimony of the risen Christ on their lips as they perished.
The Resurrection transformed the lives of those who witnessed it. Should it not transform ours?
We will all rise from the grave. And on that day my father will embrace my mother. On that day I will once again hold in my arms my beloved Elisa.
Because of the life and eternal sacrifice of the Savior of the world, we will be reunited with those we have cherished.
On that day we will know the love of our Heavenly Father. On that day we will rejoice that the Messiah overcame all that we could live forever.
Because of the sacred ordinances we receive in holy temples, our departure from this brief mortality cannot long separate relationships that have been fastened together with cords made of eternal ties.
It is my solemn testimony that death is not the end of existence. "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable."7 Because of the risen Christ, "death is swallowed up in victory."8
Because of our beloved Redeemer, we can lift up our voices, even in the midst of our darkest Fridays, and proclaim, "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"9
When President Hinckley spoke of the terrible loneliness that comes to those who lose the ones they love, he also promised that in the quiet of the night a still, unheard voice whispers peace to our soul: "All is well."
I am grateful beyond measure for the sublime true doctrines of the gospel and for the gift of the Holy Ghost, which has whispered to my soul the comforting and peaceful words promised by our beloved prophet.
From the depths of my sorrow, I have rejoiced in the glory of the gospel. I rejoice that the Prophet Joseph Smith was chosen to restore the gospel to the earth in this last dispensation. I rejoice that we have a prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley, who directs the Lord's Church in our day.
May we understand and live in thanksgiving for the priceless gifts that come to us as sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father and for the promise of that bright day when we shall all rise triumphant from the grave.
That we may always know that no matter how dark our Friday, Sunday will come is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

NOTES
1. See Alma 11:43.2. Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith (1998), 91.3. The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball (1982), 45.4. Alma 11:45.5. 1 Corinthians 15:14.6. See John 5:28–29.7. 1 Corinthians 15:19.8. 1 Corinthians 15:54.9. 1 Corinthians 15:55.

Sound link: http://lds.org/conference/sessions/display/0,5239,23-1-646,00.html (click on Sunday Will Come by Joseph B Wirthlin in the Sunday Afternoon Session

BLACK FRIDAY!

I survived Black Friday.

I dunno why they call it Black Friday cuz I was the ONLY black person out there at least in the line I was in. This year was the first time I participated in the tradition called Black Friday. I've heard horror stories about the madness to being out in the freezing cold in a line that goes down to the corner around the block and into the next county all in hopes of getting that $9,000. electronic-gadget-whachama-whozit-thingy on sale for $9.95!you're the 175th person in line and the store only has 8 of them but you are hopeful, it's Christmas time!

My brother survived Black Friday 2007 and coached me on all the ropes as to what I should and should not do and how to prepare. He gave me 1 bit of troubling information: "You should probably camp out in line the night before starting at about 6pm Thanksgiving Day." What the...?

Now that I think about it, it wasn't that troubling, I'm always up for an adventure. I do so LOVE camping and hadn't had the chance to go all summer. My only concern was the cold. I have a low cold tolerance and it was supposed to be 29 degrees with a 10% chance of rain

Out of the mouth of my best friend "WJ".... "I can be wet or I can be cold, but I CANNOT be wet AND cold." I love winter but my body doesn't. I break out in hives if I get too cold even if it's summer and the lake water is nice and cold. Well I decided I was going to do this, so I needed to be prepared. My biggest challege would be lack of sleep. I only slept about 3 hours the night before Thanksgiving and I started the week with a head cold and sinusitis. AUGH!

My day went very quickly on Thanksgiving, next thing I knew it was 3:00 and we were eating. Well they were eating, I sampled so much while I was cooking I wasn't hungry so I cleaned up the kitchen a bit. Next thing I knew it was 5:00 and I wanted to be in line by 6pm, 7 at the latest. I had arranged to go down in line with a friend, she and I wanted the same items. I also had a 2nd friend who was interested in the item. But his history is one of being flakey so we didn't really plan on him. about 5:30 I layed down to take a power nap and slept for about 30 min. 6:00 came I put on a layer of long underwear, sock, a thermal undershirt, a sweat hoodie, a fleece hoodie my Michigan beanie and a pair of fabulous boots I'd purchased a couple weeks before. I grabbed one of the 4 tents I own, a lawn chair, sleeping bag, personal dvd player, cold meds, herbal remedies, packed them in a cooler with water and some food to munch on and headed off to get in line

My store of choice:

BEST BUY. My gadget of choice an HP laptop! Normally $616 on sale for $349. But wait, there's more! There's always more! They've added a Canon 3 in 1 Printer/Scanner/Copier for free! Nope, no joking. I'm starting a small business and need a lap top as part of the business will require me to do presentations from a laptop. This lap top was plan "A." There were too other lap tops that would serve as plan B and C however they were a couple hundred more than I wanted to spend even at their great prices.

I got there a little later than expected, just around 6:30. I pull into the parking lot and there was a camper and a few cars, not too many. There were 3 tents set up already with people I learned later who had been camping out since Wednesday. There were a group of teenagers playing basket ball. Someone brought a hoop and set it up in the parking lot. And there was a card table with a group around it playing poker.

The line wasn't too bad there were about 40 people ahead of me, counting all their children. There was a nip in the air already. I parked my car grabbed my gear and headed toward the back of line and got there just ahead of a couple of guys who also had a tent and some other gear. I started putting up the tent when Erin arrived with her gear as well. I got a little frustrated because my phone began to ring for what felt like non-stop for about 45 minutes. Suddenly friends and family were calling and wanting to know if I could get them this or that so they wouldnt have to be in line all night. I got hightly irritated:I was gonna be out in the cold all night with no sleep, being sick, had sprained my MCL early August and still use a knee brace for it, AND at midnight it would be my birthday. None of those who wanted anything offered to come and hang out, keep us company, bring a hot drink, extra blanket or quick snack. I probably wouldn't have minded so much if they weren't so expectant to reap the rewards of our effort and not even give regnition to the effort.

I think I was mostly irritated because I chose to keep answering my phone in the midst of putting up a tent and the wind was biting. I told the 2 guys in front of me I was going to have them answer my phone for me while I tried to put up the tent.

Although my house was just under 5 miles away. My Sister and our friend Travis offered to keep us company and be on call to bring provisions. They bought us a pitcher of hot water for our thermoses of hot chocolate. They also brought extra sleeping bags. My daughter who also volunteered to be on call came and brought some things as well.

Lyn & Erin

She came a few minutes after I did with a 2nd camping chair and 2 thermoses for hot liquids. She left rather quickly as she would be the one mainly on call throughout the night so she was going to catch some winks.

Well the night actually went by Very quickly, at least for me. After Erin arrived and we get the tent set up we were ready for the long haul! Erin broughtknitting, a book to read, Peach pie and her army cot. I had crocheting, and grabbed the couple of things to put in my cooler for dinner.

About 9 or so I had my sister Lyn and our friend Travis bring my personal DVD Player and the 2 latest Harry Potter episodes. They also brought some boiling water so we could delve into the can of hot chocolate Erin had. When it got too cold we lined the tent with our blankets and sleeping bags, crawled inside and is was so comfy and warm! Danielle stopped by and hung out for a few. We were laughing and talking I don't think I would have been too much more comfortable at home!

Dannielle & Travis

They guys in the tent behind us had a heater and we could hear them watching episodes of home improvement and I think they had some Grease or some Grease parody going on. Since our tents were pretty much sharing the same area we could hear them quite well. We decided they were pretty cool and even funny as we overheard some of their conversations (sorry guys!)

The Y'z Guyz

We labled them the Y'z Guy'z cuz they had on beanies from BYU. I made sure my Michigan beanie and blanket were in full display. They Y'z guyz started out with just 2 of them .I think they were brothers. Their group would later turn into 4 and I think "Dad" was one of the 4. I took a picture of them because Erin was trying to get a pic of them with their camera but it didnt work so I offered to take it and email it to them.

My Heroes

Our friends Jason was supposed to be camping out with his wife and kids at a Sears the next county south of ours so we were communicating back and forth via text/cellphones. They wanted a frontload washer dryer combination on bargain for 599$. About 11 or so, He called me and asked my whereabouts.out side the tents. So he came on is a well. With the hot chocolate and the conversation we were all quite warm. For me it hadn't felt like we had already been out there 6 hours. I figured he was just curious to see if I had given up. Suddenly I'm hearing him in Stereo. Jason

and he's outside my tent. He came up just to hang out for the night and possibly see what deal he could find on this end of the vally. With the hot chocolate and the conversation we were all quite warm. For me it hadn't felt like we had already been out there 6 hours. Danielle left early because she had work at the bank Friday Morning. She left Erin and I with "Toastie Tootsies." They're air activated foot warmers you stick in your shoes. Lyn left with the hot water and a thermos that broke, luckily travis had a spare thermos we could use. Jason had his wife and kids tucked in the car out of the elements. He decided to hang out 3 stores down and Jump in the Target line while there were only 7 people in it. Erin and I settled in and started watching Harry Potter 4.

I had dozed off and Erin was waking me because the there was a shift in the line so we needed to move our gear forward to keep our place.

In front of us were a couple of cute high school boys. They only had camping chairs and a few blankets. I liked them, the were well behaved and were asking us most of the night if we needed help with anything . We watched their stuff while they took their breaks or left the line.

I gave one of my toastie tootsies to one of them. He had on a sweatshirt and a couple of blankets and he mostly jammed to his music on his mp3 all night long.

Dimples

The other was more social. He made pals with some of the kids at the front of the line playing basket ball and poker. He even helped calm down a situation with another wasted kid that could have gotten pretty ugly. He took him for a walk in the parking lot to cool him down. I was impressed with both of these young men. In my mind I refer to them as dimples and the peace maker!

Peace Maker

Just before handing the tickets out The manager came out and explained how things work. We were intructed to put all of our tents and cots and other big items away so things would flow easier.

About 3 or so the line started getting restlest. What happens is the managers and staff come out with tickets for the doorbuster items. They start at the beginning of the line and ask who wants a ticket for "such and such " item. And they continue down the line until all the tickets are gone. So the folks at the end of the line have like ZIPPO chance of getting a ticket for the item they want. Sad thing is you can't purchase "such and such" item at the bargain cost without a ticket.

The jackasses at the front of the line get tickets for everything and then try to sell the tickets to the folks at the front of the line. I call it greedy and selfish. Im sure they call it the American way. Some guy started his ticket selling at $40 bucks. The ameture teenies were selling theres for $5 and $10. I had plan A-C. If what I really wanted ran out of tickets before it got to myself and Eric, then we would upgrade to the next lap top or the next one. Then we decided if nothing else we could purchase items at the gargain cost and cell them on Ebay so the night wouldn't be a total loss. For me it was a great experience anyway so no total lost. There were tickets for Xboxes, Wii's, Desk tops for $500, Laptops for 300, Digital camera's for $60... you get the picture. And these are GOOD items, not no name items.

TheYz Guyz helped us move our tent earlier and also helped us break it down and kept our place in line as we packed our gear and took it back to our car.

It began to rain and get windy after the tents were all put away. OF COURSE! I was still pretty warm. I actually didn't get chilly til about 30 min before the door was opened and at that point I still wasn't uncomfortable.

Erin and I had tickets for our option B and C. About 20 min before the doors were to open up some guy sold his stack of tickets for $8. I guess people got start and quit buying them so the people at the end of the line were stuck with a bunch of tickets no one was really buying after a while and when it got wet and windy they just wanted to go home or get comfortable instead of trying to pan handle money in the cold and rain. One of the Y'z Guyz bought the stack. There was probably 25 tickets. They were able to get the tickets they needed for what they wanted. Then they had Erin and I go through and there were 2 ticket for our Plan A item! Can I just tell you I LOVE THE Y'Z GUYZ? And when they got what they needed they didn't sell the rest of the tickets they gave them away. I also gave away my Plan B and C tickets to the folks at the back of the line.

Now it was just a matter of going in, getting the gear and getting home. Sounds easy enough right?

WRONG! When you walk in, there are colored arrows on the floor. If your ticket is blue, you follow the blue arrows, if it's green you follow the green arrows. I asked for the yellow brick road and ended up in the purple line. Sadly enough there was no cheese at the end of the maze either

The purple line was the line for all Computers. Erin was toward the front of the line but came back to stand with me. We were STILL relatively at the front of the line which masqueraded like a carnival ride at Six Flags, Lagoon, Cedar Point or some other amusement park. This is how the line was looking behind me. You can't see much of it because it bends, twists and turns like the snake river.

This was the purple line for the computers. They had some sort of S.L.O.W system going on. I got home about 6:45-ish. The doors opened at 5 so that was being in line almost 2 hours after camping out 11 hours. I didn't really get tired until I got home and fixed a plate of Thanksgiving dinner from the night before. Then I crashed until just before Noon.

My "sista" was calling to tell me her daughter was in labor and they hadn't figured the baby to be born on MY Birthday. In my slumbering I had forgotten it was my birthday! I was born on my cousin Paul Warfield's birthday. (yeah, the one who played in the 1972 Miami Dolphins championship). My Nephew Devan was born on my birthday 15 years ago :)

And yesterday Amari was born on Devan's birthday. I know, my family is calling me greedy and selfish claming all the kids on my day.

For the most part I thoroughly enjoyed myself out there in the Parking Lot of Best Buy. It was a fun experience. Today I'm mostly in bed resting hoping I can run this cold outta me by the end of the weekend and catching up on sleep. But if ever I feel the need to venture into the World of Black Friday door busters, although the best things can't be bought, I'd do it again.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Yeah, I'm cheating! This is a repost from last year. Many of you enjoyed it and some of you have never read it. Anyway, if you want to read a different message then you can find it posted on my other blog which actually kind of goes hand in hand with this post:

http://kaydeezplace.blogspot.com/2008/11/much-to-be-thankful-for.html

Thursday, November 22, 2007

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Each day is another year gone by and each year is another landmark in our lives.We focus on certain land marks such as births, deaths, anniversaries and other various events with monumental meaning, forgetting the greatness of each day.

When I wake up do I look around and focus on what’s right in my life or what’s wrong? Have I piled up walls around me of the bad and negative things and imprisioned myself by it each day? Have I given in to Lucifer’s invitation to anger, depression, hopelessness, contention, pride, and sadness or have I chosen to surround myself with the goodness and positives that encourage my own goodness, hope, joy and love?

The sun rises and sets each day, regardless if I see it or not. Some days the Sun’s rays are blocked by heaven’s clouds and some days the Sun’s rays are blocked by my own clouds. Recently I’ve found strength in know that although there are days I may not see the sun and it‘s light , or feel it’s warmth, I KNOW the sun is there. Sometimes its minutes before the sun appears and sometimes its days. But I know its’ there and soon I will see it’s brightness and feel it’s warmth. I only need to be patient and wait. While I wait, I do those things that keep me patient until I can see the light and feel the warmth of the sun again: I wear warm clothing to protect me from the cold. I use lights and other things to help me see and to guide my way throughout the day so the visual absence of the sun doesn’t hinder my everyday life. Doing these things gives me comfort, patience, peace, love and it sustains me.

Each day by focusing on the things that give me comfort, peace and love it seems to attract and increase more of those things. (Is this what is meant by “The Law of Attraction?”) And those things of a negative, depressing nature seem to fade. And it’s not that they really disappear, they just sort of fade away to a point where their importance has diminished greatly and they become easier and less tedious to deal with. I’m anxious to deal with them so those things can be replaced with something more positive.

Take some time this Thanksgiving to think about those things that give you patience, peace and love. Seek them out daily to sustain you, until the sun begins to shine again in your life. You may not always feel it, you may not always see it, but know that the sun is ALWAYS there. There are always things to be grateful for each day and focusing on them will create even more things to be grateful for each day. I promise :)

Homework: Find my playlist and pause it. Now go back and reread this and replace the meaning of "The Sun" with "THE Son"

after clicking this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUhU0HgTq94

And have a BEAUTIFUL Day and a Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm Having A Moment!

**WARNING: I'M ABOUT TO GET SOMEWHAT POLITICAL**

I usually would not put an entry like this on my Religion page. But today, I'm going to break protocol and share with you some of what I'm feeling right now.

If you've come here to find out who I voted for, you can leave now. My mama don't even know who I voted for. She always told me that knowledge was between me and Heavenly Father and I've yet to disclose it to any one. I will say I flipped the switch this time and went outside my norm. I'll also say that my family (parents, daughter, siblings) were very divided and we most likely cancelled each other out.
That being said, I want to say I'm very disappointed in the attitude of some people I've been hearing the last 24 hours.
Let me share some quotes:

"all I've heard from the black communities is.. first black president. None of them have even mentioned that issues..."
"blacks only voted for another black person, not the best candidate"
"this is the most blatant act of racism america has seen"
"what is this, the second emancipation?" "c'mon america I thought this was not about race..."


This historical elections WAS indeed about race. And about economy, and education, and gender biases, and wars and rumors of wars.... IT'S POLITICAL so of course it's going to be about all these things.

It's not like all the black folk called each other and said..."Vote for Obama and then lets seduce a bunch of white people into changing their minds so our evil plan for black power is now in the works."


People TODAY I am having a Moment!

In this moment I feel the slave generations of my family and their weariness of working sun up to sun down in the heat soaked cotton and tobacco fields of the south.

I feel their joy with their greatest hope of succes was to simply be able to serve in the "big house" instead of in the fields.

I feel the pain of those who were struck hundreds of times by "massa's whip!"

I feel the fear of waking each day not knowing if today was the day that your 15 year old son would be sold off to some plantation 50 miles away to pay off a debt or if your 18 year old daughter would be chosen as a breeder to supply massa with more slave children to increase his personal wealth.
I feel the hope of and dreams of running away on that underground railroad to find freedom.

I feel the anxiousness of those who fleed the south to join the civil ward in the fight for freedoms that would not come to completeness until longer after they have passed and gone home to glory.

I feel their pride and joy

in being a needed force to be reaconed and risking their lives to save those they served with in world wars as allies and country men, only to return to their own country and continue to suffer through the wars on racism and on equal rights. I feel their frustration in wanting their children to have an opportunity for the best education in universities and colleges regardless of skin color.
I feel their aching backs and tired and blistered feet as they walk for hours and sometimes days just to be able to have a voice in equality, only to be met with opposition, humilitation and in many cases death.













I feel their horror in gathering to go to choir practice or Wednesday night Church prayer meeting and instead of feeling the Burning Spirit of the Lord, Seeing a burning cross in front of their burning church.









I feel the years and years of training and exhaustion to represent their country and be awarded respect on the world stage and afterwards still feel the sting of being emasculated and reduced to nothing but an oppressed colored man or woman at home.

















My People, I AM HAVING A MOMENT!
In honor of my Great-GreatGrandparents and Great-Grandparents who would never live to see this day.

In honor of my Grandparents who walked instead of riding the buses, who used the colored only drinking fountains. Who got hosed down and arrested for protesting. Who held up their fists in hopes of civil and social equality and have passed on never to see it or to experience very little of it their life times, this moment I share with you.

Their Country, my country, OUR country is a place where someone like them or myself have the ability to and the opportunity to no longer be blocked, barred and held back by the color of our skin.

We live in a country where indeed anyone regardless of gender, color, religion and social background through the generations can absolutely become President of the United States.

With that must come some pride and joy in being a part of this country.
To those of you who will not, and cannot acknowledge this aspect of our country and will negate this moment, the history and the doors it has opened because of the politcal platform of the newly elected president Barack Obama I invited you to take a moment. Take a moment and revel in the awesomeness of where this country was to how far it's come in providing the opportunity and learning from the wrongs and the mistakes it's made against it's own people of color: Native American, Latin American, African American.... stop me at anytime.
I'm not asking you to agree with who is now president elect of the United States. Take a moment to find the positives in being blessed in the fact that we live in an amazing country. What makes us amazing is our ablility to learn from our mistakes and to endure through the growing pains that have brought us thus far.

It only took us about 200 years to get there, however the fact will always be
A country who once thought of the black man as "the beast" or "the help" or " Property" has elected the very same to leads its country.

Copy and paste the following clip and you'll get an understanding:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iyf91ANvKHY


And for all these reasons, I Am Having A moment.

To those of you who fear the next 4 years I say to you, out of the mouth of my 18 year old just yesterday: "If Ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." We've been instructed on how to prepare our selves by our Prophets and other church leaders. Perhaps spending some time in the scriptures ( May I suggest revelations?) will remind us the signs of the times and ALL that must happen before hand. I promise as we prepare ourselves for things to come, all fear will be replaced with faith.

Head and Heart Testify of Truth

We members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints go to a 3 hour block of church on Sundays.
There is a meeting called Elders Quorum for the Men ages 18 years old and over, a Meeting called Relief Society for the Sisters 18 and older. Youth and young adults ages 12-17 are broken down into age groups and genders. This is simply called YoungMen/Young Womens or Mutual.
Children 3-11 have a class called primary where they're broken into age groups as well, and there's a Nursery for babies 1-3. All this goes on at the same time.

The next hour block is Sunday school, where husbands and wife come together and discuss lessons on the assigned scripture reading for the week.

The 12-18 year olds come together by age groups to bascially discuss the same as their parents except on their level and in terms understandble for their age group.

The kids 11 and under stay in their classes.

The final hour block is where the family comes together to worship and listen to selected sermon's that are taught by selected members. (Any member of the congregation can be asked ahead of time to prepare the sermon. Most often there are 1-3 speakers, one of them usually a youth speaker). This meeting we also partake of the Sacrament. We partake of bread, as a symbol of the body of Jesus Christ and water as the symbol of the blood of Jesus Christ. In doing so we also covenant with the Lord that we will always remember him, and keep his commandments which he hath* given them, (that they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them; that they may witness unto thee,) that they may always have his Spirit to be with them.
A weekly reminder and renewal of convenants to always be a witness and remember Jesus Christ the Son of God and to keep his commandments.

Often times the first block and the last block are reversed. Anyway now that you have the structure how our sunday's work... on with the point.

I'm not sure why I'm inclined to share this experience. But it is heavy on my mind today, sort of like a testimony.
About 14 years ago, I fell into somewhat of a depression. I wasn't clinically diagnosed but there had been a dark cloud hanging over me for a few months that I felt I could not shake. In this time I had also ceased to have my daily prayers and read my scriptures on a regular basis and had not been to church in weeks. To some those seem like little things but the littles thing come to make big impacts in our lives.
This particular Sunday I woke up in time for the start of the 9am Meeting. I didn't have a desire to go so I brushed the feeling away and ignored it. About an hour later a voice in my head suggested "go to church." I looked at the time, the 2nd hour block would soon be starting, and again I ignored the feeling. About 40 minutes after that I heard out loud a voice... "GO TO CHURCH NOW!" I actually turned around to see who was speaking to me. There was no one there.
I decided to heed the prompting no matter how I felt about going. I pulled my hair back into a pony tail. Put on a jean skirt, my University of Michigan sweat shirt and some footwear and walked the block to church.
It was the last meeting of the day, Relief Society. I sat off bymyself because I didn't want to be bothered. I folded my arms, folded my legs and gave off the best... "don't talk to me, don't sit by me, don't touch me " vibe I could give off. And I sat listening to prelude music. The Relief Society President got up and made the announcments and then asked that we sing the opening song to being our meeting, and then an opening prayer would follow.
As we sang the first verse and I listened to the words of the song, I began to feel tears rolling down my face. By the time we got to the 2nd verse, I was audibly sobbing and 3 sister's hand come and put their arms around me and were huggin me as if to keep me together.
The song I had heard all my life from the time of a small child and knew the words. But for some reason on this day, I FELT everyword being sung.
You see, I've always known that I am a child of the MOST high God. I am Daughter of a Heavenly Father who is so in love with me. We come to this knowledge and teach it at a young age. And through that teaching comes the belief. But on this particular day, this day that someone spoke in my ear to go to the Father's house and RECIEVE the love he had for me. And I felt it. I recived it. And feeling that love strengthened my belief of it. I did not doubt that God My Father knows me intimately. He is aware of my every sorrow, heartache, joy and pain. And he knows what is best for me. And if I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not to my own understanding... in all things he WILL direct my paths.

It has been a most difficult and challenging 4 months. This last week has been particularly difficult as well I have experienced things no one should have to even experience. And I have experienced great joys that everyone should be blessed to have. We all have these experiences. I just happens to be my turn.
Through it all I want to bear witness that I know that my Lord and SaviorJesus Christ lives to Reign. He shed great drops of blood in MY behalf because he loves me AND he wants me to succeed. The beauty of it all is that there is unending Love enough for you as well. There are those out there how have yet to come to this knowledge and it hurts my heart to know others stand in that dark clouds where I've been and feel not of this wonderous light and love. May we all reach out to our brothers and sisters, regardless of religious beliefs and background and be living examples of that love.

May those who don't know Christ personally learn of him because they know YOU.


*** The Hymn:

(vs1)
Our Savior's love
Shines like the sun with perfect light.
As from above
it breaks through clouds of strife.
Lighting our way,
It leads us back into his sight,
Where we may stay
To share eternal life.

(vs2)
The Spirit, voice
Of goodness, whispers to our hearts
A better choice
Than evil's anguished cries.
Loud may the sound
Of hope ring till all doubt departs,
And we are bound
To him by loving ties.

(vs3)
Our Father, God
Of all creation, hear us pray
In reverance, awed
By thy Son's sacrifice.
Praises we sing.
We love thy law; we will obey,
Our heavenly King,
In thee our hearts rejoice

Single Parent's Raising Teenagers in Today's world.

I was asked to be the guest speaker and on a panal about single parent's raising teenagers in todays world.
It's turned into quite a lengthy blog. But I'm pleased at the outcome of what I'll be speaking on.
Here's the link to it, Hope you enjoy it and will give me lots of feedback, I could sure use it.
Thanks

http://oldschoolmormonmama.blogspot.com/

Good Relationship Are A Blessing That Comes With MUCH Effort.

I've come to believe that each relationship we have should be an example of God's love. So when people see you're relationships they are seeing a visual understanding of how the Lord loves us.
Every relationship we have regardless if it's Mother-Daughter, Father-Son, Sister-Brother, Aunt-Nephew, Grandparent-Grandchild, is practice for that Eternal or Marriage relationship. We're to have

Parental love: Isaiah 49: 15 Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.

Brotherly love: Roman 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

Child-like love: Matthew 18: 4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Mosiah 3:19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

Spousal love: (actually all of Ephesians chapter 5) Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

In the last few months in studying relationships I've spent some time in the book of Romans. It addresses marriage, divorce, homosexuality and a range of other relationship dealings.Romans is a pretty good reference guide for relationships:

Romans 12:9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.


Romans 12:16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.

Actually I think I'm going to have a placque made of Romans 12. It really is good house rules.

And going back to Ephesians which even instructs us how to communicate and speak to one another
Ephesians 4: 29-32: Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.


The most prominent examples of relationships we have are the ones we're in. So we take our examples from those around us, it's only natural, and usually all you have to go on. When we seek the relationship of spouse, it's only natural to draw back on relationships such as Grandma's and Grandpa's, Mom and Dad's, Older brothers and sisters, Aunt's and Uncles and such and even friends.
I've observed the relationships around me, the failed ones, the one's that appear to be successful, the one's that have failed and learned from their failings and are now in a more successful relationship.

I'm not above asking what went wrong in failed relationships and I've learned no one is a great as they paint themselves out to be. It's never all one person's fault and if you arent willing to face up to your own mistakes and shortcomings you'll keep making them in all your relationships. How you speak of (and to) your former spouse, your parents, and your children are all indications of how you'll speak to your current spouse.

I've seen siblings treat each other better than their spouses. I've seen Spouses speak and carefor a pet better than each other.
I've seen families give strangers and friends more courtesy and love than they give each other.

These things ought not to be.

Knowing what's really important is a blessing.
I think what I've learned most in the last few months is what's really important and what isn't.
Part of being in a loving relationship is learning how your partner communicates best and making compromises to accomodate each other. If you can't accomplish that, there's almost no point in going any further.
I also recognize those adjustments begin when your commitment begins, not sometime down the road after the marriage begins.
The one thing I see that remains constant...if adjustments aren't being made before the union, they aren't being made after. Many people are caught in the disbelief but time and time again I hear.. "they were that way before...I thought it would change after.."
I dont believe that.
What's really important in the grand scheme of things. Intentions, being true to your word, progression, fairness, knowing and acknowledging I have faults and being willing to work on them constantly.

Being able to over look and let go of small annoyances is a blessing. My Father and Grandfather were control freaks. Do it their way, no questions asked. It had to be their way. Why? I'm still not sure. there's 100 different ways to do 1 thing. As long as it get's done in a timely manner, legally and without harming anyone or anything does it matter?
It was once said to me "didn't your mama teach you not to leave the sponge in the sink?" This was after cleaning a kitchen and washing dishes. No mention of the clean kitchen or dishes, just about the sponge in the sink. And even if there was mention of it, what would you think the focus was on? yeah, the sponge. Should it have mattered and why? So anyway when every little thing like that is brought to notice you begin to focus on their negativity not their kindness.

Being able to keep focus on the positive is a blessing as well. It's difficult when surrounded by negativity.

I've realized the blessings of kind words AND deeds. Ever notice how one unkind or critical word can ruin everything? More than anything it births negative retaliation in word and deed (usually of the vengeful sort).
I've realized the blessing of knowing how to adjust to things that really don't matter. Letting the little dumb stuff fall away and not being nit picky about things that really don't have any place or weight in the relationship.

I've realized the blessing of good communication. Seeing a look or expression, hearing inflections and tone in a voice. Getting a visual or hearing understanding and intent in a voice is far better than incorrect assumptions via text or email or I/M. I've seen it and experienced it too many times, people reading words and putting their own attitudes and intent behind them instead of knowing how things were really intended. I'm no longer willing to have anymore important conversations unless they are face to face or at the very least Voice to voice on the phone.

Finding ways to connect on a regular basis and enjoy each other is a blessing.
I take the example of my brother. I asked him the difference in his first and second marriages and the changes he made. My brother is a Gamer. (yeah, E, I'm calling you out, but only because you give me hope) When I lived with him and his first wife he spent hours playing computer games. He loved them. His wife came to resent it. This was also the story of my step-sister and her first husband. This may not have been the main cause but it helped in their breaking up.
My brother said the best thing he did was DECIDE to enjoy his wife more. (because it was a choice, an option) He put being with her first and made sure she was taken care of, emotionally, mentally, physically first and she does the same. In doing so, the need for him to be online wasn't as urgent or fullfilling at it had been. He's learned moderation. He would find great joy in creating a new avetar and getting to the next level but expressed less joy in doing things with his spouse. Now he will only indulge in his gaming when his wife is not home or when all other things are satisfied. For him he's able to go weeks at a time without even turning his computer on except to pay a couple bills or read a few emails. Defineately not for hours at a time. He said he fought it tooth and nail and gave every lame excuse in the book. But realized that the people in his life are more important than the things and adjusted accordingly.

Working together to find the best solutions instead of feeling the need to be right is a blessing.
For the most part I could give a flip about being right. There is very little glory in being right about most situation. There's no joy in giving the benefit of the doubt against your better judgement and finding out you were shafted or flaked out on again. Or someone doing something to hurt you... and you knew it would happen. Where is the joy in being right? Where is the joy in being so rigid and close minded that you miss out on greater learning or understanding because you already know it all? What kind of life do you really have if you don't have the mind to trust or believe in anyone but yourself? Makes for a lonely bored life. I'm not down for that.

Studying and discussing the Word of God together is a blessing.
How in the world can you have a Christ Centered Union and family if you aren't even studying the word of God together or as a family? I have friends that when you walk into their house you FEEL a noticable difference of peace, love and harmony. They say they've worked very hard to have that atmosphere. Their day begins with Family scripture reading and prayer for each other in the morning. And they look for ways to uplift and build each other each day. There's a noticeable difference when they omit these things.
I remember an article in our church magazines years ago that basically said: How dare we use the same lips for profanity, anger, belittlement and critisism to dare call upon the Lord Our God in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and ask for blessings. We need to take more of an active part in our own speech to bring to pass the blessings we seek.

Ambition is a blessing: I have witnessed some lazy marriages and they stim from lazy attitudes. Love is a feeling but it's also an action. It involves words and deeds and both should be motivating. Not to say that you and your loved one's should always be on the go and doing. But you should be motivated and ambitious to make goals, progress toward them and reach them. If you don't have a plan and work a plan, then things happen to you instead of you making things happen. People put more effort in their jobs than their relationships.


I'm excited about the things I've learned these passed few months in recognizing what really is important. I learned alot about myself. What Im willing to let go of and what I'm not willing to let go of. I've got alot of work to do on myself as well. For me, some of the greatest experiences are the hardest ones and some of my greatest acheivements are recognizing my shortcomings and having the desire and working towards over coming them. I'm please with that, as I see too many people who are so busy pointing out the flaws of others, they dont have a handle on their own mess and don't even recognize their own mess.

Being able to recognize and work on your own flaws.... IS A BLESSING!

Is Your Mouth Writing Checks That You're Actions Aren't Cashing?

This election year has me thinking alot on Lip Service. Maybe because it's an election year it seems as if the amount of people saying things they don't really mean or saying one thing and doing another... or just not doing anything at all while insisting action and change is their intent has been MAGNIFIED.

Had a meeting yesterday morning and we got on the subject of Integrity and Honesty and how compared to our parents generation, people of today don't even have a concept of those things.
Back in the day, your word was your bond. Today, you can barely trust the word of those closest to you in even the smallest things. If you can't trust someone to do the small things, is it wise to invest enough in people to even get to the bigger things?
(this reminds me of being willing to DIE for our beliefs, but not willing to live with or for them)

It all boils down to INTEGRITY.

I like to watch and observe people I think actions tell more about a person than their words ever could. And if words and action are continuously inconsistant, there's a problem with integrity. Most peope think of integrity & honesty as simply telling the truth... and only when asked. It's not a bad thing but it's a lazy thing. We're taught to be more than lazy thinkers and doers of the word.

1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, for as much as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

Even our young women STAND UP each week and make the promise to stand for truth and righteousness at all times and in all things and in all places.
And I believe the theme for our LDS youth is

Mosiah 5:15 'Be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works'

We've seen the word abounding a few times in our scriptures. It means "plentiful, overflowing, abundant." As far as I know, those are action words. While we are in this life we're to be actively building up the kingdom of God by word and deed. I think tooo many of us think of it as "just" a Sunday thing. There's so much more to it than that. Building up the Kingdom of God is more than listening to a serman or listening to religious music on Sunday. These are great things but seriously if the majority of us think that's enough and the best we can do the world is in trouble. I think anytime we simply do "just good enough" and not our best, we lack integrity in those moments. Don't get me wrong there are defineately times when "just good enough" IS all you can do. But it should be the exception and not the rule. Integrity starts with intention. It starts in our minds, and our thinking. Its in our words, our follow up and our follow through. We would all do well to live as if our word IS our bond. So much of us live by saying things we don't mean or spouting things off the cuff with no intention of actually doing them. How many times do we find ourselves saying :
"I'll be there." "I'll call you back/tomorrow" "I will do.." or "Promise I'll get to it..."

Just for our follow up to end up being:
"I was going to but..." "what had happened was..." "I didn't forget I just..."?
We are fooling ourselves if we think these things go unnoticed by our friends and family after pulling it so many times. I can guarantee they may appear to believe you at your word but they certainly aren't counting on it or believing it much.

I've had a few disappointments in this regard this summer. It's taught me, if nothing to try and be a person whose intentions match their actions. I don't want it said of me that I am lazy in actions and lacking in integrity.
I like knowing that I can be counted on. It's tiring at times but it feels good to know people can count on me to get things taken care of and to keep my word for the most part. I don't want to be a disappointment to my friends and family and most of all to myself. I'm the person who believes you when you say you're going to do something no matter how small or big.
I'm also the one who is done believing when I see you haven't kept your word or your plans always fall though and don't happen the majority of the time. It actually only takes about 2 or 3 times and then I'm done believing.
Even if at some later point you happen to follow thru on a couple of the big things, I'm not going to trust you to get MOST things done. I'll believe it when it see it, because you've shown me that's all you deserve.

We should be taught and teaching from a young age and quite regularly the importance of integrity (things like selfishness, greed, taking more than we need just because we can or because something is free should be an abomination to us and should be taught to our children from a young age.)
We are taught that Integrity is being honest in word, thought and deed even when no one else is watching or around. This means we are hard working all the time, not just when the boss is going to be coming around. It means we are truthful and standing up for it and righteousness, not only when it's convenient, but even when it's not the popular or cool thing to do. It means our words and actions are consistant with one another. It means our actions, intentions and thoughs are the same regardless of who we are with. We aren't saying one thing and doing another. Or Implying one thingand then it not happening. It means we are actively putting forth the effort to cash the checks that our mouths are writing in all areas of our lives: Physically, mentally, emoitonally, spiritually, economically and so forth.

Even those little things we say we'll do and don't end up doing, they make a difference. It has everything to do with intent which starts in our thinking.

Proverbs: 23:7 "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..."

Let me put this too you in todays terms: "Where the mind goes, the behind follows."

And if you STILL don't get it... let's try one more time: We accomplish exactly those things we want and intend to accomplish.

It is very rare that we put on hold the things we really really want to accomplish. It's not in our nature to allow someone else to plan or take over and move forward on the things WE want. Anything we are passionate about we don't pawn off on others, we are actively involved and abounding in the progression of it.

So if you look around at your life and are noticing a pile of "woulda, coulda, shoulda's" or unfinished goals and accomplishments check your intent and actions. More often than not that has everything to do with it.

I'm guilty of some of these things, we all are. But lately it seems as if I'm actually feeling the effects of it.
Is this what it feels like to my friends and family when I say things to them and don't follow through or fall short? I know in this regard I can work harder on being a person of integrity. My challenge for us all is to make a committment to being a person of greater integrity.
To those who feel it doesn't apply to them, read Proverbs 23:9 and good luck and stop bouncing checks.

I Did the Right Thing....Didn't I?

So, I just turned down a job offer. It was a pretty decent offer as well, much like the job I just left. My Interviewer was excited for me to begin my training October 20th. Starting pay was good, benefits awesome, sounded like just what I needed to get back into the working world.

We discussed what my schedules, salary and benefits would be. And then she asked a fateful question:

"Because we are an international company and strive to resolve customer issues in one call, you will be required to sometimes view and assist customers in things mostly considered of a Sexually offensive nature and adult content, is this something you feel you can do?"



I sat there stunned and stammering. I tried to say yes, but couldnt. Instead I got nauseated, and started sweating and trembling. I heard myself saying :



"I would have a problem with that"



She asked if it were something I felt I could ease into and eventually overcome because I would be a required to accomodate the customer.

I told her

"no, it was something I wouldn't do."



We sat there in silents. She was very kind and understood my position. She was disappointed at my not being able to have the position. I was just shocked, I think. She'll keep my resume (Of course) on file in the event that something else might come along. Thus ended my Interview.



A couple of things are going on inside of me right now:



ANXIOUS!!! Employment is essential to life. I need job, benefits and such to maintain the quality of life I feel I deserve. Although I've been taking it easy for the summer, I'm ready to kick back in and earn my keep again. I need and want a job.



SHOCK!!! Although we know the kind of world and the evils in it, I'm shocked it's actually come into the work place so abruptly and welcomed.



SADNESS!!! That people really live their lives in away that welcome violence, porn, profanity and even mocking the sacredness ofdiety as part of their regular entertainment.



SICK!!! I got sick to my stomach and trembling in those few moments of understand the question. It made me ill for a reason.



WEAK!!! Shouldn't I be stronger than this? Shouldn't I be able to breeze right through profanity, pornography and other such things w/o being offensive? Doesn't the Lord protect and shield his children from being affected by these such things if they're praying, reading their scriptures and doing things trying to stay close to him? This stuff shouldn't bother me at all right? After all not every customer call would be of that nature, maybe just 2 or 3 a week, or month or maybe just 1 a year... It's good money I should be able to get over it...*sigh*



Anger!!! Just as The Lord is aware of our strenghts and weaknesses, so is Lucifer (PUNK!) He uses low blows, insults, criticism (I've gotten some of that already by not accepting) and fear to break us down, attack our confidence and use justification to convince us to compromise our standards.



After the interview I sat in Silence for a few minutes. I like sitting in silence I do it quite a bit. I wanted to put a name to all the emotions popping off inside of me and the above is what I've come up with. I also wanted to get some resolve on what I'd just done and determine if I was too hasty in my decision. I was told to contact them if my standings change, they'd love to have me.



**SIGH***

I was upset to the point of tears. Im upset that circumstances guided me to resign from my previous job. I'm upset that as a result of someone elses actions I suffered the consequences that put me, my mind and emotions in a sensitive state that normally wouldn't have been.

I'm upset at how it effected me then, now and possibly in the long term.



And now that I've cried, I'm no longer upset.



Most welcomed to my thoughts came the following phrases:



"We will stand for truth and righteousness at all times, in all things and all places...."



"...If there is anything virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."



Proverbs 19:1 Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity than he that is perverse in his lips and is a fool.



Doctrine and Covenant's 33:2 For verily, verily I say unto you that ye are called to lift up your voices as with the sound of a trump, to declare my gospel unto a crooked and perverse generation.



I actually just turned on the TV and happened upon the rebroadcast of the General Relief Society Conference and Elder UchtDorf is speaking. Although he is speaking of being creators with the creator the phrase he just spoke that speaks out to me most is:



"Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside."





*SIGH* (that was a sigh of relief)

I have given myself permission to feel triumphant about my decision. I feel there is PLENTY employment out there that doesn't require me to subject myself to these kinds of things. Im sure there are plenty of employee's who are ready and willing to take that position. I just happen to be one who isn't.

And now that I think about it.... did I really even contemplate selling my standards and risk putting my spirit and soul at dis-ease by being subjected to images and lanuage I've spent years staying away from for a mere hourly wage with excellent benefits?



Being Christians (and yes, people Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints ARE christians), when we take upon the name of Jesus Christ we have taken the guess work out of alot of decisions the rest of the world struggles with. Although from time to time we may falter, and backslide and make mistakes, we have the free agency to continue to live in those mistakes, or to get back up and stand for truth and righteousness and keep on trying to do what is right.

(As Christians we dont covenant to not make mistakes, as long as we are alive we will make mistakes. But we convenant to correct them when we do make them, and to move forward in righteousness as best we can with the intent to refrain from continuously making the same mistakes.)



Being Christian this decision, like many others, was made when I was baptized. It's made when I take the sacrament each week to "take upon the name of thy son Jesus Christ.... and always remember him."



I'm certainly not perfect in obeying everything in accordance to all the Lords commandments, the main 10 in Exodus, and the many others throughout the scriptures.

I'm CONFIDENT I made the right choice for me. I'm CONFIDENT the job I will really love and excel in is waiting for me. I'm confident I will be blessed for not selling my "birth right" for a mess of pottage... at least this time (wink.) I have found great strength in that knowledge and I will keep on keepin on.

Much to my Surprize....

This page has surpassed my other blog pages and has become my Popular Main Page! I've been getting emails from people all over the world about my "Journal of a Black Mormon girl" and I am pleased about that.
Some of you in our email discussions have even admitted to the ignorance of our religion and have come off impressed. If I had a part in that, I'm humbled and grateful.

Some of you insist on picking at scabs. You know each religion has scabs. If you choose to dable in past bacteria's that time, and education are trying to heal, you deserve the ache that picking scabs will bring.

I don't say that to hide from the passed mistakes and judgements of man... because all man has and will have them as long as they are alive. Men of God will make mistakes and use bad judgement at times... because they are MAN. There are numerous accounts of it in all the scriptures we have. And God, in his infinate wisdom always provides a way to correct and compensate for it. Man cannot Destroy his kingdom, his work will go forth.

I love that saying... All Lucifer needs is for good men to do nothing in order for him to succeed.
So if you're the type to go to work, go home, mind your business and not really do anything except say.. "thank you Jesus" once in a while, at least to me, that's the same as no doing anything.
What do people think Jesus meant when he said... "feed my sheep?" He meant s whole multitude of things. Something are more challenging and diffucult than others yet some things are soo soo easy and almost effortless.

I live in a place where, if someone is moving ... people will run out of their own homes to help unload or load, while others will drop off a meal or cool drinks to help those who are able to do more. Someone noticed our hedges were growing passed the windows and since they were doing their own, they did ours as well.

One of the ladies noticed me walking with my knee brace on and came to see if she could get anything for me when she ran to the store later that evening.

I am one of the sheep and I'm being well fed.


The other day while I was out I stopped to let a gentleman cross in front of me. He was Scowling! I smiled and yelled out the window... "hey, what you looking all mad about?" He looked at me and said... "I didn't even notice!" He smiled, turned and then started whistling on his way. It wasn't a big thing, but I'd like to think I somehow fed that sheep.

My mind echo's the words of my mother quite often: "If you see something that needs to be done or if you can help out another, you should do it."

Is it suprising that my Grandmother, her mom would often say... "the only hands the Lord has are yours"

When I think of one of my favorite scriptures in John: Greater love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for a friend.
So many of us think it means dying for someone. Well that may be true to a point. I believe this to mean taking the time out to serve. Somehow when I'm serving and helping other people, my own issues aren't so bad and I often find the solutions through serving others. It allows me to feed some sheep and it aides my own healing. It helps to fill voids. So many times we look ourside ourselves to fill voids and this can be dangerous. Some do it with food, others music, some with gaming, porn, working too much, boasting, cleaning, cooking. Some read, do yard work, some go out for long walks or drives. As you can see I've mentioned some good ways and bad ways to fill voids. All should be done in moderation. From My experience the things I do that fill my voids more completely and last the longest are when I'm doing something to uplift someone else. If uplifts me as well if not more. I also noticed, when Im selfish my life quickly become hell. I'm not saying be so giving that I put my own well being or the wellbeing of my family in danger. The best way to take care of others is to take care of yourself as well so you are in a position to help others and know that the Lord will continue to bless you as you continue to bless others.

Thank you, for making this my number one blog :)