Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I Did the Right Thing....Didn't I?

So, I just turned down a job offer. It was a pretty decent offer as well, much like the job I just left. My Interviewer was excited for me to begin my training October 20th. Starting pay was good, benefits awesome, sounded like just what I needed to get back into the working world.

We discussed what my schedules, salary and benefits would be. And then she asked a fateful question:

"Because we are an international company and strive to resolve customer issues in one call, you will be required to sometimes view and assist customers in things mostly considered of a Sexually offensive nature and adult content, is this something you feel you can do?"

I sat there stunned and stammering. I tried to say yes, but couldnt. Instead I got nauseated, and started sweating and trembling. I heard myself saying :

"I would have a problem with that"

She asked if it were something I felt I could ease into and eventually overcome because I would be a required to accomodate the customer.

I told her

"no, it was something I wouldn't do."

We sat there in silents. She was very kind and understood my position. She was disappointed at my not being able to have the position. I was just shocked, I think. She'll keep my resume (Of course) on file in the event that something else might come along. Thus ended my Interview.

A couple of things are going on inside of me right now:

ANXIOUS!!! Employment is essential to life. I need job, benefits and such to maintain the quality of life I feel I deserve. Although I've been taking it easy for the summer, I'm ready to kick back in and earn my keep again. I need and want a job.

SHOCK!!! Although we know the kind of world and the evils in it, I'm shocked it's actually come into the work place so abruptly and welcomed.

SADNESS!!! That people really live their lives in away that welcome violence, porn, profanity and even mocking the sacredness ofdiety as part of their regular entertainment.

SICK!!! I got sick to my stomach and trembling in those few moments of understand the question. It made me ill for a reason.

WEAK!!! Shouldn't I be stronger than this? Shouldn't I be able to breeze right through profanity, pornography and other such things w/o being offensive? Doesn't the Lord protect and shield his children from being affected by these such things if they're praying, reading their scriptures and doing things trying to stay close to him? This stuff shouldn't bother me at all right? After all not every customer call would be of that nature, maybe just 2 or 3 a week, or month or maybe just 1 a year... It's good money I should be able to get over it...*sigh*

Anger!!! Just as The Lord is aware of our strenghts and weaknesses, so is Lucifer (PUNK!) He uses low blows, insults, criticism (I've gotten some of that already by not accepting) and fear to break us down, attack our confidence and use justification to convince us to compromise our standards.

After the interview I sat in Silence for a few minutes. I like sitting in silence I do it quite a bit. I wanted to put a name to all the emotions popping off inside of me and the above is what I've come up with. I also wanted to get some resolve on what I'd just done and determine if I was too hasty in my decision. I was told to contact them if my standings change, they'd love to have me.


I was upset to the point of tears. Im upset that circumstances guided me to resign from my previous job. I'm upset that as a result of someone elses actions I suffered the consequences that put me, my mind and emotions in a sensitive state that normally wouldn't have been.

I'm upset at how it effected me then, now and possibly in the long term.

And now that I've cried, I'm no longer upset.

Most welcomed to my thoughts came the following phrases:

"We will stand for truth and righteousness at all times, in all things and all places...."

"...If there is anything virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."

Proverbs 19:1 Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity than he that is perverse in his lips and is a fool.

Doctrine and Covenant's 33:2 For verily, verily I say unto you that ye are called to lift up your voices as with the sound of a trump, to declare my gospel unto a crooked and perverse generation.

I actually just turned on the TV and happened upon the rebroadcast of the General Relief Society Conference and Elder UchtDorf is speaking. Although he is speaking of being creators with the creator the phrase he just spoke that speaks out to me most is:

"Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside."

*SIGH* (that was a sigh of relief)

I have given myself permission to feel triumphant about my decision. I feel there is PLENTY employment out there that doesn't require me to subject myself to these kinds of things. Im sure there are plenty of employee's who are ready and willing to take that position. I just happen to be one who isn't.

And now that I think about it.... did I really even contemplate selling my standards and risk putting my spirit and soul at dis-ease by being subjected to images and lanuage I've spent years staying away from for a mere hourly wage with excellent benefits?

Being Christians (and yes, people Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints ARE christians), when we take upon the name of Jesus Christ we have taken the guess work out of alot of decisions the rest of the world struggles with. Although from time to time we may falter, and backslide and make mistakes, we have the free agency to continue to live in those mistakes, or to get back up and stand for truth and righteousness and keep on trying to do what is right.

(As Christians we dont covenant to not make mistakes, as long as we are alive we will make mistakes. But we convenant to correct them when we do make them, and to move forward in righteousness as best we can with the intent to refrain from continuously making the same mistakes.)

Being Christian this decision, like many others, was made when I was baptized. It's made when I take the sacrament each week to "take upon the name of thy son Jesus Christ.... and always remember him."

I'm certainly not perfect in obeying everything in accordance to all the Lords commandments, the main 10 in Exodus, and the many others throughout the scriptures.

I'm CONFIDENT I made the right choice for me. I'm CONFIDENT the job I will really love and excel in is waiting for me. I'm confident I will be blessed for not selling my "birth right" for a mess of pottage... at least this time (wink.) I have found great strength in that knowledge and I will keep on keepin on.


S'mee said...

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Emphatically yes; you did the right thing.

I would have never expected anything less from you and I know that Heavenly Father does as well. You amaze me all the time, every time I read your posts. You have a terrific way of bringing everything in your life, trials, blessings back into perfect focus and purpose: To walk with God.

I so wish you lived next door to me.

Kalola said...

Rest assured, you will be rewarded for choosing the right. Blessings upon you.

Tequitia said...

good for you! your time wil come.

In The Doghouse said...

My dear young Mormon friend, you have certainly done the right thing. Sometimes "choosing the right" is the hardest choice to make, but once it is made be sustained in the fact that you have triumphed over opposition.

Heck yes, that calls for an AMEN!

You go girl, "keep on keeping on!"

My prayers and thoughts will be with you... patience and long suffering, and as brother Joseph was told, "if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes."

alotalot said...

yeah...it was the right thing. But what a hard thing to do! Hooray for you.

themeese2 said...

There is a reason why I respect the livin' daylights out of you, Karyn D., and you just shone a great big spotlight on it! It is these seemingly little decisions that make up the battles we wage against evil that will eventually win the war. You would have had many reasons to regret taking that job, and now, you will not have to suffer the negative consequences of that choice. The Lord will most assuredly bless you for your faithfulness in seeking the right with a job that will be able to support you and that will not require you to compromise your principles. WAY TO GO!


ShaBANG said...

Well I already am feeling pretty blessed. I've several friends who work there are and are in fear of the new hiring freeze and layoffs that are starting to happen.

This incident has me thinking about alot of things lately, on building up the kingdom of God and how small things really do matter the most. ( I feel another blog coming on)

Miz Buffie said...

I can't remember the last time I had a decision to make that was RIGHT and it was EASY!

Yes it is hard when you have so many needs and there is the struggle to do what is right and yes, I can relate to the cocktail of emotions that consume us when we go thru this type of thing.

Iwould be making about 70K right NOW in a great job had I not defended the religion. Yes.. I spoke up for Mormons and my arse got fired. Crooked? yes... but I have been persecuted before because of my affiliation with this church but and it took over 18 months to gain employemnt again and I had to take something $5 less per hour. To this day... I dont match that income potential but I know someday, I will surpass it. Soemtimes I wonder if I had just "played nicely" where would I be?
Just today something happened on my job that made me want to cry. I was strong and I didn't but I realized I need the LORD because I have a child to take care of and I would be utterly lost without employment right now. And the pressure is on at work. I know it.
I have enemies there and gotta watch the back all the time. I will ask the Lord to speedily grant you gainful employement because GOOD jobs are hard to find in Utah.
Heck.. everywhere but Utah seems to be a bit tougher. Stick to your guns and promises to The LORD and HE WILL NOT FORSAKE YOU.
Philippians 4:6-7 and Isaiah 41:10,13
U R so loved. I know its hard. Cling to the Lord. I am trying to do the same thing sister.

Lisa S said...

AMEN!!! Your decision was right on. At first I thought you were going to say they asked you to work on Sunday. When you mentioned what, well, that is a deal breaker. Yes Satan nips at us in our own way. The way he gets at you will be different than the way he gets at me. Are you working now? I sure hope so. Hang in there.

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