Sunday, April 18, 2010


I often find myself doing things I don't want to do. And then after words cussing myself and regretting it. Do ya hate that? You know those times when you replay all the events of the situation in your head? And then you start to tell yourself things like:
"I shoulda told that witch to mind her own business." OR
" I should have confronted him about lying to me."
And THEN you actually go into the bathroom and practice your script in the mirror. Then you tell yourself... "one more time... this time with ATTITUDE!" Yeah, I'm gonna do it like that next time! Pat yourself on the back and you're good to go. Right? Right.

What about those times you don't want to do a thing? And you do it anyway because it's the RIGHT thing to do. How does THAT make you feel? I can honestly say I've never had one regret about doing the right and proper thing. There's really something great about doing the right thing that embeds in your heart, sometimes even when it goes unappreciated.SOMETIMES.

One of my closest friends and I had a fight and we didn't talk to each other for over a year. I'll refer to her as "Tyra." Since we have the same friendship base we saw each other often and even worked on a project together. Outside of the project, there was no communication or interaction. During this time Tyra and her husband were expecting their 3rd child. I purchased a mother's day item and the closer it got to mother's day the more I had a feeling the item I purchased was for Tyra. I ignored this prompting as it would mean I would need to contact and speak to this person and I just didn't want to. I ignored this feeling for a couple of weeks.
My sister and a couple of other friends went to a get together of sorts the Saturday afternoon before Mother's Day. Our friend "Amrie" lived about 30 minutes a way and needed a ride home after the get together so my sister and I decided we would turn it into a small road trip.
The later it became in the evening the more pressed I felt to give Tyra her mother's day gift. Just as we were heading toward the Highway to take Amrie home I found myself yelling at my sister to
"STOP! I don't know why but I have to get this gift and give it to her TONIGHT. I don't know why but I have to"
My sister, who was driving, veers off the the street right of the highway entrance and heads toward my apt. I ran into my apt and grabbed the gift and we rushed over to Tyra's house.
I knocked on the door and her daughter answered.
"where's your mom" I asked her.
"Who is it?" I heard her from the back hallway.
I stepped in and saw her almost doubled over in pain and barely able to walk.
"what's wrong?" I asked.
She couldn't get a hold of her husband at work and someone was over an hour late picking her up, and taking her to the hospital. She was in active labor and waiting for someone to pick her up. We got her in the car and rushed her off the Hospital. Her son was born shortly after. Shortly after, our friendship was repaired again.

I wanted to be stubborn. I TRIED to be stubborn. And I tried not to give a CRAP about about her and that voice in my head telling me the right thing to do. Let's be clear. I DID NOT WANT TO DO THIS. I was O.K only dealing with her on an as needed basis.

I'm not sure how we would be towards each other had I decided to be stubborn. Today her kids call me "Aunty" and my kid calls her "Aunty" and WE ARE FAMILY.

Another time a young couple I knew was moving and needed help with the move. I Didn't really like them. They didn't too much care for me either. However they needed help. I rallied a few people and we went and helped them move in. It was a good thing because they really didn't have too many people helping them at all and would have spent all of the evening and most of the night moving. We aren't really CLOSE but I do enjoy their company when end up at the same place.

There have been times when I've helped those I don't really like too much and they've reminded them WHY I don't really like them, but I helped them anyway.
How could I be so naive and stupid you may ask? 2 reasons.
This just happened recently to a friend of mine who lives in Canada:

"I ran out of gas last Friday night on the Trans-Canada hwy. My guy knew something was wrong because I ALWAYS come right home and ALWAYS call him to tell him where I am. He called the police TWICE,gave my name and for 4 hrs no police no help. I started walking the 22KM in the rain,then the coyotes started getting close so I went back to the truck.Then 5 Phillipino men picked me up and took me home.I figured it was either them or coyotes going to kill me.So I took my chances with the men."
She rec'd help. It took her 4 hours but she rec'd help.

True in this case the men were police officers who were lax on their job responsibilities. Here is another situation that didn't turn out so well.
I have been stranded before or in situations like this before where I have needed help, called friends for help and they have actually responded

"well I'm in the middle of something right now, but call me back in a little while if you can't get someone else."

Actually, I get that a lot. In most cases these are also the people who call me on a regular basis when they need, NEED someone they can count on. Someone reliable. Someone they know will come. And I do come. I'm not going to lie, it gets old. It gets frustrating. Sometimes it pisses me off to the point I'm calling them everything but a child of God under my breath. I know I will get stood up, brushed off and ignored, and waiting in distress many, many more times. I will call on friends and they will be too busy or make up excuses because it's not convenient or they just don't want help and don't have the guts to just tell me.

But that's on them.

And at the end of MY day, I don't usually regret it so I'll most likely continue to as some would say "be taken advantage of" to a point. Because maybe it's good for the community or the universe. Maybe it puts a jetted tub or a fabulous granite counter top in my mansion in heaven. Or maybe it just saves a life. Maybe if I'm dissin' someone in need I'm dissin also God.
Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (Matt. 25:37–40.)
So if I have the power to do so... I will come. Will you?

Friday, April 2, 2010


This is the time of year for New Beginnings. Spring time, when Natures awakes from it's dormant slumber and new life sprinkles the landscapes around us. The are becomes warmer and more sweet, the days become longer and brighter and the hope of long days in the sun arise within us. Mother natures has awakened the earth.

Is it any wonder we Celebrate the the Resurrection of Jesus Christ in the spring?
Today around the world Christians are celebrating "Good Friday." 6pm last night, Thursday, our Jewish friends would have started their Passover celebration.
The Lord commanded his people to paint the blood of a Lamb on their doors after Pharaoh ordered death of each first-born. For those who did this death was passed over and did not strike that household. Waking up alive the next morning was a GOOD FRIDAY INDEED.

For Us Christians (YES, MORMONS ARE CHRISTIANS... we've BEEN through this before)It is the anniversary of Passover and the Last Supper. Jesus with crew gathered for the passover dinner, we call it the Last Supper also know it as the First Sacrament.

The tables arranged in the shape of a "U." John, the one responsible for the meal would sit on the far right of the short table. Jesus, the host, in the center, and Judas, the guest of honor to the far left.
"JUDAS? The guest of honor?" you say. That's right I said Judas was the guest of honor.
Peter, who Jesus had chosen to lead the church after himself, was seated in the lowest station. He who would betray Jesus sat in the highest position. He who was named to lead in his place, sat in the lowest position.

Confusing? NOT SO MUCH! IN that Upper Room Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. The Holiest of them all knelt down and served even the lowliest of them all. Status was erased. The washed the feet of the most elect in that room (Peter) the same as he washed the one of the lowest station (Judas.) His love did not measure out more and less according to who was before him.
Did he give up his dignity to serve? Or did he magnify is dignity by serving?

Jesus broke bread with his disciples and told it was in remembrance of his flesh and to them to partake of it. After the meal he passed a cup and they drank in Remembrance of Him and the blood he would shed.

The blood of another lamb would be shed to save those who believe. Could it be the ancient passover law was now replaced with a new one?

Jesus and his crew sang hymns and sometime in the night went to Gethsemane. He was heart broken and grieved. asked his Crew,those closest to him to keep watch while he pray. He entered the garden exhausted, we are told he fell on his face. The crew being tired kept falling asleep. Thus truly leaving Jesus Christ alone to accomplish that which he needed to do.
He prayed to his father. You know those prayers we have when we don't really want to go through with something
"Daddy if at all possible... "

(Yeah, we know those kinds of prayers. Well I know them..) We have to sometimes say it and say it again... and again, until we find that place of surrender and submission, giving in to the father's will. He prayed the same prayer 3 times. He indicated the spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak. Maybe it took 3 times for the flesh to get to the point of submission. And finally he spoke those words we should all be prepared to speak:

"Thy will be done..."
ON THIS GOOD FRIDAY Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior prayed more earnestly in his Agony. ON this Good Friday is when Jesus became our Savior by suffering the sins of the world:
Every person who lived before him, every person who lived with him, every person who would life after him. Every sorry, every heartache, every depression. Every betrayal, every stroke of the massa's whip, every beheading at the kings command, every poke, prod, scar, scrape. Every disappointment, embarrassment abuse, addiction, disease and discomfort known to mankind.

He felt it all and he took it on willingly. So much so that the "unwilling" flesh opened up and released his blood for OUR sake. We have been paid for. More than once we have been paid for. Thousands of years before we set foot on the earth, We have been paid for.
So when you sing songs like "OH HAPPY DAY... When Jesus Washed my sins away..." You recognized that he watered the garden of Gethsemane with his blood so that we may grow closer to him. It is called the ATONEMENT. He atoned for our sins. This is what makes us His and Him ours. This is the AT-ONE-MENT. This is the purpose for our weekly Sacrament.

As if Suffering the sins of the world were not enough, the mobs came and Jesus was Kissed and then taken by the mobs.
He was taken to Pilate who found no fault with him, And then Herod who send him back to Pilate. The people would rather have a known criminal amongst them than to allow Jesus to walk away free.
With a body all ready exhausted and having bled those great drops of blood in our behalf, they scourged him, tearing his flesh and beating him brutally and placing a crown of thorns on his head. Jesus,carrying his cross, was paraded down the road to Golgotha, physically, spiritually, emotionally spent. When he could walk no further, Simon a cyrenian was seized and commissioned by soldiers to carry the cross for him.
It was soon after that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was nailed to the boards and hung to die.

I believe Jesus continued to live as long as he felt the presence of the Lord with him. And when the Lord withdrew from him, he stayed as long as he needed to fulfilled the journey and when it was done... "IT IS DONE..." He willingly gave up the ghost.

The earth and the elements responded in anger and sadness. The sun hid it's face in horror, grief and sorrow. The earth mourned in darkness.

On that glorious Sunday morning the tomb was empty. The Savior of all Mankind, so brutally humiliated, broken and abused had overcome all there would be to overcome.
The Sun then showed its face upon "THE SON." Is it any wonder that the Earth renews itself? Perhaps as a symbol of the ultimate rebirth?
Many Churches have the Cross as a symbol of the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Our Churches do not. It is not because we don't believe in Good Friday or the Crucifixion. We believe it. We honor it and Our Savior Jesus Christ who so willingly died for us. Our hope is in that of the Resurrection.The Good News that he is Risen

As a collective group we Mormons don't have Good Friday Services or traditions but believe we do Honor Good Friday, individually and in our own way. He had to die in order to rise.

This Easter with your bunnies and eggs, chocolates and peeps, Ham and Potatoes, brunch, hot crossed buns and whatever else you do to celebrate the anniversary of our greatest gift ,Spend sometime recognizing and really pondering the supper held in THIS ROOM
and the magnitude of love The Lord our God and his Son Jesus Christ have for you and yours. And know that is is never failing and ever strong.

Big Brother, Little Sister Moments

Big Brother, Little Sister Moments
Hand in Hand


I earned some temporary wings!