Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Don't Deserve To Pray? WHAAAAT????
I was talking with my sista the other day.... Sista Beehive from the Sista's in Zion blog. And we got to talking about talking to God.
I have often heard from my friends who are down and out, depressed, off the straight and narrow, or whatever other undeserving feelings they might be dealing with day
"I can't pray, I don't deserve to pray!" It floors me that they think that way. I can't decide if it's pride talking or stupidity: "I dont deserve to pray.". I've been searching all my scriptures for that phrase that says... "I am the Lord your God! When you are in the deepest darkest places... DO NOT speak to me, you don't deserve it." I haven't found it yet. We ALWAYS have the right to pray. We have an obligation as his children to check in. Not just at meal time, on Sundays or times of trouble either. We are Heaven's Children so it stands to reason we need Heaven's help.
So why is it that when we are in the depths of dispair and need the Lord the most we turn our backs on him and try to dig ourselves out? If we could dig ourselves out would we be SO FAR in in the first place? There is no standard of worthiness to Speak to the Lord or pray. He does reserve the right to bless us and adminster to him as he sees fit. Maybe that's the key? Rejection. If we pray and dont' get what we want we tend to make excuses: The heavens are closed. He doesn't answer prayers. There is no God. I can't even fathem thinking the last one.
We often misunderstand that just because we call ourselves Christian that we should automatically receive the desires of our heart. We also misinterpret this to mean that the Lords is going to give us what we want, when we want it and on our terms. Do you know anyone like that? They often are waiting for jobs, houses, relationships to "fall in their lap" Just how THEY WANT and when it doesn't happen say... It's not of God. I can remember that kind of thinking about 20 years ago. Until I realized the REAL meaning of Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will grant you the desires of your heart."
I had to come to grips with reality. In order for me to be delighted in the Lord I had to trust in him and his plan and fuse my will with his. I had to have on of them "come to Jesus" meetings with myself. You know the kind where you figure out that you need to leave your will behind and jump on board with his will.
Think of it like a Sail boat: You're on vacation on your sail boat is in the middle of the ocean or lake going slow or going nowhere.
The Lord just sailed on by at a steady speed.
You call out to him... "Hey Lord, how's it going?"
"Absolutely wonderful Child, how's it going with you?"
"well, not so great, Lord."
"No? Well why not?"
"Well, Lord, I want my boat to sail as awesomely as yours and it's just going very slowly and sometimes not at all."
"Is that right child?"
"Yeah, so.. well... Lord, I was wondering... Can you make my boat sail like yours."
"Hhmmm! I have a better Idea, why don't you jump on my boat and sail with me! I have plenty of room and we're having are really great time!"
"Well, Lord, I kinda of want THIS boat to sail. See I just put in a lot of money, time and effort in it so I can get it to sail..."
"I see. Well, are you sure you don't want to hop onboard? I have an awesome Chef down stairs cookin up some shrimp and chicken.You can have your own state room. And we're having this amazing triple layer peppermint torte cake for dessert. We'd love to have you on board, you can stay with me as long as you want!"
"Well, Lord. That does sound great. But I still wanna stay with my boat. I just need a little wind to make it sail.."
"you're sure then?" Says the Lord.
"yeah, I just think I'll be happier this way" We say.
"Well, ok... child. here's a little wind to get you started on your way."
"Thank you Lord, I appreciate it."
And off you go oblivious to the fact that your sail started to tear a week ago, there's a slow leak under the seat getting worse that you don't even know about AND your rudder is about to fall apart from internal water damage because you never sealed the outter cracks from when you grounded it 2 summers ago. Continueing on your course is giving you complete joy and satisfaction now and temporarily. You've extended your sailing trip another 2 weeks!
He gave you what you wanted and how you wanted it even though before hand he offered to you what you NEEDED. What you ULTIMATELY would have been happier with.
Delighting in in the Lord, it's not just praising him and going to Sunday services and sharing/preaching the word. We have a desire gain enough faith to match our will with his and in doing so our desires become righteous and grantable.
Most times we're trying to get the Lord to change HIS will to ours. So busy wanting to be "The Boss."
Back on the subject of feeling too unworthy to pray, it is Lucifer who teaches us these kinds of things. "you are too messed up to pray, he won't listen to you." "too far gone." "you have no right to speak to him after all you've done."
Well guess what? The Devil is a Liar. If Lucifer has the bold audacity to speak with him, what makes you think you cant?
Seriously, even the Devil spoke to God AND Jesus Christ AND he believes in them both. And if the Devil can approach them and talk to them then I know I can FO SHO speak with them.
So the next time, for whatever reason, you feel too unworthy, lost, tired, afraid and ashamed to pray, remember it is just not so. This is one time you can say... If the devil can do it, SO CAN I!